Bustin' a Sag for Jesus

Any desperate attempt by middle aged Evangelical youth pastors to appear hip in order to reach young Christians. Generally speaking these individuals wear baggy pants, Birkenstocks, goatees, and, on ocassion, may even have piercings. Their hairstyles are typcially what homosexuals wore 10 years ago...They usually ramble on about Generation Y and use the word "awesome" entirely too much.

Hey, Pastor Mike is droppin' some phat beats on the youth group...looks like he's bustin' a sag for Jesus.

by Gary Vitalis February 24, 2007

East Jesus Nowhere

The middle of nowhere.

After driving for an hour, we got lost and ended up in East Jesus Nowhere. It took us three hours to get home

by holly hox, forget me nots April 14, 2009

Jesus fucked a monkey!

Phrase used when a pub door swings back and nearly dislodges the pyramid of glasses being carried back to table, or when a twat cyclist speeds through a red light at a pedestrian crossing and almost kills you, or practically anytime 'fuckin hell', 'you fuckin twat', or 'shiiiiiiit' simply doesn't cut the mustard.
Used sparingly, it's effective, offensive and infectious.

Jesus fucked a monkey!, watch out twat.

by TauntonJah November 5, 2019

Because I'm Jesus

How Jesus sasses the Pharisees or makes them stfu

Pharisees: "Can you stop claiming to be God!"
Jesus: "No, I am God because I'm Jesus"
Pharisees: "We hate this guy so much"

by ImHell666 May 30, 2018

oh baby jesus

A word coined by the famous Ricky Bobby now used as a synonym for phrases like "Oh shit," Oh no," and my personal favorite, "Well fuck me"

Someone: I forgot my phone and my keys and my underwear.
Me: Oh baby jesus that sucks cow balls.

by THESEAREREALWORDS December 14, 2017

Jesus Fuckin Shit

What one would say when surprised, angered, or amazed by something. This is not blasphemous because you are not speaking of the Lord, just some dude with the same name, with explitives added for emphasis.

Don't rub your dogs balls in public. Jesus Fuckin Shit Dude! Use you head!

by Sublime0901 February 4, 2009

Jesus take the wheel

When things are so hard to understand that all you can do is call forth Jesus.

Person1: Did you hear Keri is still a hoe.

Person2: After she apparently found the Lord?

Person1: Yes.

Person2: Oh Jesus take the wheel!!

by GxLuci October 29, 2014