Twilight

A story written by Stephanie Meyers that would have similar plot elements to a story about a man falling in love with a ham sandwich.

Twilight is like a man falling in love with a ham sandwich.

by Haywood Jabloemi December 18, 2009

Closet Twilighter

Somene who says they hate the twilight books, but secretly reads them, is obssessed with edward and deep down wants to be a blood thirsty vampire.

Person A:"Hey have you seen twilight?"
Person B:"Nah i dont have time for that crap."

*hidden in their room, person b is swooning over edward and crying at the really romantic parts* aka a closet twilighter*

by JayRay15 March 1, 2009

anti-twilighter

Rational, normal human being who can't stand the ridiculous tween vampire series, "Twilight". Regularly laughs at both the teens, tweens and soccer moms who line up for every movie. Uses terms like "twitard" to explain to other, equally normal thinking people what these jagoffs are like.

Hell yeah, I'm an anti-twilighter...I'm not a teenage girl or a forty-year-old soccer mom, am I?

by isaacsdad June 28, 2010

Twixing

After anal sex you insert a Twix into participants anus, as though it were a dildo, until the chocolate melts. After this, the Twixer then Feltches the particepant. This allows for the semen to taste more chocolaty.

Yo man I loved twixing her last night, it tasted Grrrrreat.

I was going to twix her but all I had was a Snikers

by IvanDobsky March 4, 2009

Twilight

The biggest mistake in the history of literature. Doesn't even classify as literature. It is one of the worst mistakes that mankind has ever made. It's up there with the Holocaust and President Bush.

I had to do a book report, and I chose Twilight. It probably would've been a better choice to do a book report on fresh dog shit.

by The Uber Fat January 27, 2010

Twilight

A book that raises the bars of women and gets men laid less.

"My girlfriend said she wouldn't blow me unless I acted more like Edward from Twilight."

by Nicky M. January 6, 2009

Twilight

A book writen by Stephanie Meyer and obsessed over by crazed fans.

Personally, I adore the series. Or... I did. Once EVERYONE started reading it and obsessing over it, it became incredibly overrated and annoying.
The obsession over the character Edward Cullen is simply uncalled for. HE IS NOT REAL, PEOPLE. No man out there is going to live up to him. I apologize.

Now that I think about it, every book in the series is very cliche. Maybe that's what makes 'non-readers' read it. It's something they're used to; something they've heard of.
Yes, I have read Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn twice each, but I read many other books as well.
The fanatics over these books ONLY read these books. Tisk, tisk. You live in a fantasy world.
My favorite character has ALWAYS been Alice Cullen. In my opinion, she is the best character in the book. Period.

Example 1:

Crazy fan: "Ohmygod! I am going to marry Edward Cullen!"
Normal Person: "No you're not. He doesn't exist."
Crazy fan: "HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT!"
Normal Person: "The truth hurts...?"

Example 2:

Fan: "Edward Cullen is the most beautiful man to ever exist."
Normal Person: "Correction: Edward Cullen is ONE of the most beautifully described CHARACTERS to ever be read about."
Fan: "........"

Example 3:

Fan: "Team Edward! Yeah!"
Normal Person: "Team Me! Yeah!"
Fan: "You're weird..."
Normal Person: "You're delusional and obsessed."

Example 4:

Fan: "Twilight is the BEST BOOK EVER!!"
Normal Person: "...That's only because it's the only book you've ever read."

by Ladidaopa! February 27, 2009