Taking matters into your own hands

Masturbating
Choking the chicken
Beating the bishop
Slap boxing the one-eyed champ
Holding your sausage hostage
Squeezing the cream from the flesh twinkie
Having a date with Pam and her five friends
Having a tug-o-war with the cyclops
"the five finger knuckle shuffle on the one-eyed, blue-veined, purple-headed, custard-chucking, salty yogurt slinger."

"Mary rejecting him for sex once again, Larry had to take matters into his own hands."

by Johnny Pot Smoker September 5, 2003

Shoe Hands

When your style of game playing is so bad there's no other explanation other than you are playing with shoes on your hands (Can be one or both hands).

A metaphor for players who are bad at playing games which involve the use of both or one hand(s)

"How can Sarah be so bad at aiming? " - T-800

"What do you expect? She's obviously playing with Shoe Hands" - Kyle Reese

by IndieManuel May 17, 2015

banana handshake

Upon meeting someone, a casual jimmytap.

Upon meeting Kenneth Lay, he extended his right hand, and I gave him a banana handshake.

by Ben Stein February 16, 2005

All hands on dick

The corporate equivalent of the naval expression "all hands on deck" where everyone is called to help remedy an emergency situation, but in the corporate world most people can't really help so the best they can do is put their hands on their dick.

When BP realized the magnitude of the oil spill, the CEO called for all hands on dick.

by It takes balls to go by "Dick" July 7, 2010

Canadian Handshake

Jacking someone off with a Hockey glove lathered in maple syrup.

My boyfriend and I went to Vancouver, he was too tired from the flight to go out for dinner so we ordered room service, gave each other a Canadian Handshake and went to bed.

by Spinning Jenny November 29, 2017

Trump Handshake

Pussy grab.

So, now that Trump is in office does official protocol for greeting the First Lady and his daughters require a pussy grab (Trump Handshake) or is that only for Trump to use on other females not in his family? #trumphandshake

by California Mike February 3, 2017

hey handsome

My dad says “hey handsome” a lot. He’s been doing this since i was born, mostly to greet his good male friends. It’s kind of like his hello and his superpower.

“Hey handsome” is very powerful when said to people he meets for the first time and who he appreciates, like waiters or home depot employees.

For men who are confident and secure with themselves and their sexuality, they’ll appreciate a new salutation. However, if they’re not in on it, the greeting will drop kick every man who hears it…they’ll ask: who the hell is this guy talking about? Is he talking about me? Am I the handsome one? Does he want to fuck?

Well, my dad doesn’t want to fuck. My dad is saying: yeah you’re handsome, and more importantly: it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.

hey handsome, guess what? Our new friend failed the vibe check yesterday. i said hey handsome when i saw him and he thought i was hitting on him!

by Sickomonster July 11, 2023