tom cruise

douche, douchebag, major douchebag

tom cruise acts like a douche off screen constantly, plus i think he is suffering from reality angst, which we are suffering from. get this guy on drug for fuck's sake

tom is a douche
cruise is a bag
tom cruise = major douchebag

by xvxununun October 10, 2006

Tom cruise

Noun:

Hollywood dwelling Sciencetologist creature that jumps on couches and spawns deformed children.

"Damn! Tom Cruise was really good in Rain Man!"

"Yeah, but ever sense he started banging Katie Holms and couches, I must say that he sucks ass."

by I swear to drunk, I'm not God! October 25, 2006

Tom Cruise

I'm in love (yippee!!!) and I hate psychiatrists (fucking nut jobs, all of them, ALL OF THEM), who are out to control the world (trembles for a few moments) and drop hydrogen bombs on everybody (BIG ones, yeahhh). Hey, have you seen my girlfriend? (BOINNNGGG!!) I'm wild! You're cool, too! (Pulls hair out, laughs.) No, seriously? Oh. (Grows sullen.) Oh. (Grows REALLY sullen.) Oh. Why would you want to do that to me? No, seriously, why would you want to do that to me? Why? Why? Why would you want to do that to me? (Jumps up on couch, pulls dramatic stance, couch falls backward, he crawls up to kneel on the front of the seat.) They've hated me ever since I played a veteran of the Great Galactic War between the Thetans and the Engrammatised Ones. (Goes boggle-eyed, cackles, shrieks ...,) We're all going to be bigger than Oprah! (YAY!) And it makes me sick, you know that? Why isn't everyone looking at me RIGHT NOW? And you know what? I'm NOT GAY!!! Mimi! Ha! Nicole! Ha! Penelope! Ha! Katie, aww, KATIIEEE!!! Ha-haaaaaaaaaaaa! Here, I can lick my own balls, seriously. Just watch me ... (Licks own balls, audience stampede out of the auditorium.)

The above was a party political broadcast on behalf of Tom Cruise.

by Fearman April 16, 2008

Doob cruise

Getting in an automobile and driving around to smoke marijuana. Typically a joint (doobie) or blunt is used so in the unfortunate event that the police stop you, one can toss it out the window or eat it without worry of getting a drug paraphernalia charge.

Yo dude, wanna go on a doob cruise since we cant smoke in the dorm rooms?

Dude, that doob cruise got me so blazed!

by Fizzle reppin NC August 15, 2006

Cruise Drunk

The act of getting so inebriated on cruise that it may take a day or two to sober up, at which point you find out what you did on youtube.

"Tonight, we're getting cruise drunk"

by Capt. Keystone January 12, 2009

Random Cruiser

Slang; for getting an erection out of nowhere.

"I got a random cruiser during class the other day. It was embarrassing."

"I'm starting to get a random cruiser."

by iBanged Zooey November 19, 2013

swift cruise

When you arrive on board your cruise ship and you find out that Taylor Swift and Tom Cruise are also on board and you're like "buckle up - this is going to be a bumpy ride."

HEATHER: "Oh god, Taylor Swift and Tom Cruise are on board."
ADAM: "SWEET! Looks like we scored tickets to the Swift Cruise!"

by Shmiggens March 2, 2017