I will choke you with your own asshole!!!

A threatening statement that is so profoundly impossible that it will both amuse, confuse and terrify its recipient.

If you make that annoying noise again, "I will choke you with your own asshole!!!"

by asshole choker March 26, 2010

benevolent asshole

(noun) a person who performs a charitable act for non-assholes, while at the same time being an asshole toward other assholes.

When traffic is merging down to a single lane, and assholes are using a partial lane to cut traffic, a benevolent asshole will block the partial lane, while maintaining his/her rightful place in line, thus preventing other assholes from cutting in line.

by I-66 Driver September 8, 2010

dumb fucking asshole

dumb fucking asshole one who is a dumbass and a fucking ediot more vulgar and offensive when just calling someone a dumbass is not enough

this man broke into his neighbors house and got attacked by his neighbors 6 dogs that dumb fucking asshole was lucky to escape with his life

by littlejimmie May 18, 2019

satan's asshole

The DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles). First used by comedian Dane Cook, it describes what it's like to wait in line for hours with no air conditioning with whiny kids, smelly cocksuckers, and people talking on their god damn cell phones, just so you can get your driver's license.

I had to get my driver's license from satan's asshole today.

by Illinois Joe October 7, 2004

Paper Asshole

A guy who talks a lot of shit but fails to deliver. I.E a fraud, a fake, or a phony.

Yo Mike R. really thinks he's tough but he ain't shit but a paper asshole.

by Projectpat1983 June 1, 2016

Asshole Teacher

A man who is typically a substitute teacher, whether it be in High school or any lesser form.

Tends to believe he is higher than all other forms of life, especially damn hooligans.

Tends to walk around a room, with his back straightened, arms out wide, trying to look tougher than he really is. Forgetful, with things such as attendance or how to spell a name. When standing in place, tends to hold hands behind back, while staring at you like if you come near him, he will bite your head off.

Also believes he runs the place, when really he has no clue what is going on.

"That asshole teacher is everywhere I go! I had him for british writers again and he forgot the attendence."
"HEY! I have 21 written down and I see 22, I'm gonna have to go through the entire class again and take attendance"

by BK aka Fonzie March 1, 2009

chapstick asshole

The hole that appears in the middle of your chapstick. Created by the motion of the central screw as you twist it to move the lip balm up the tube. Collects mushy chapstick debris and god knows what else. Cringeworthy.

Ew the chapstick asshole has appeared. O chapstick, your time has come, too soon. *chuck*

by mealy3.0 December 9, 2008