Cardiovascular Assistant I

Otherwise known as a TA, a comical and tardy individual who’s consistently only productive on Thursdays.

This damn CardioVascular Assistant I (TA)never gets any linen.

by Pavss June 8, 2018

Lift Assistance

The assistance of urination into a bottle when trapped in a lift . One helpful fellow lends a hand to another who has broken both wrists in a freak accident and doesn't want to piss on his already stained and tired work trousers in the glass lift for everyone to see.

Andrey and Matt were stuck in a lift for nearly 30 seconds when Matt declared he needed to answer natures call. Andrey herocially offered to hold Matt's member whilst matt relived himself into a nearly empty, well known sparkling orange drink. After they were rescued from the lift 4 minutes later, Matt thanked Andrey for the 'lift assistance' and drank the contents of the bottle as a thank you.

by RNGF June 10, 2018

Assistant Chief

Assistant chief usually serves the cheif and deputy chief of their fire department most small departments have two assistant chiefs and they will take command on the scene if the cheif or deputy chief are not on scene

Fire chief: go talk to my assistant chief I'm busy at the moment.
Civilian: ok thanks for directing me to someone.

by NFD-42j7_sam_ray April 4, 2018

I need assistance

What Susan Sarandon says when she's about to fuck you.

I need assistance toucha toucha toucha touch me

by My Minecraft Isn't working July 3, 2019

Murphy's Law of Customer-Assistance

"You can stroll a store's aisles till Doomsday and never spot da item you want, but then, just as soon as you interrupt a staffperson to ask for help in locating said desirable, THAT'S when you will notice your sought-after item right off!"

While stocking up on food at a Super Walmart, I was looking for larger packages of Armour Vienna sausage so that I could save a few cents per can, but although I had thoroughly searched the surrounding areas on the shelves, I still hadn't found anything bigger than the small six-packs, so I finally asked a nearby employee if there were any of the larger packages in stock, possibly in the back room. Well, just as we were both walking back to the area of the aisle where I'd been looking, THAT'S when I finally spied the 12-packs that were sitting on the very top shelf! Guess that was a classic case of Murphy's Law of Customer-Assistance... ah, well, again, the 12-packs were indeed sitting very high up, so at least that was a plausible excuse for my not having seen them before, especially since the store usually doesn't even expect its customers to notice stuff that's placed 'way up there, anyway; that "lofty" location is merely where they store extra merchandise for replenishing the lower-down shelves when the stock there starts to run low.

by QuacksO May 14, 2019

OFFICER ASSIST

The act of inserting or extracting something in or out of the colon with self or other help.

i needed to make a deposit for the toilet bank, so a little finger gave me an officer assist with my prison wallet!

by robetitcussin February 23, 2019

Trades Assistant

When you are so infatuated with your male partner that you do everything for him: wash him, feed him, unzip him, assist him going Oiler, wipe him, felate him

George was so infatuated with Mace that he asked if he could be his trades assistant

by Damo the Leb April 16, 2019