Fake Friend

Someone who you think is your friend but is really a shady ass hoe.

J.P. is such a fake friend to Katherine. He only hangs out with her unless he has nothing to do.

Fake Friend by LaQuīsha September 19, 2017

fair weather friend 

A friend who only associates with you when they have nothing better to do. Someone who may only stick around in exciting situations but when times are somewhat boring, leave your side.

A fair weather friend would act like they want to hang out but never invite you to do anything and if you invite them to do something they will only do it if they cant find something better.

fair weather friend by carebear bob April 6, 2010

Friendship Reciprocity Ratio 

The friendship reciprocity ratio, or F.R. Ratio, is the ratio representing the unwritten friendship law that the sum of x-friend's purchases for y-friend should be equal to, or as close to equal to, y-friend's purchases for x-friend. The closer to "0" this ratio is, the more substantial the friendship. Any friend who is significantly negative in this ratio is a shitty friend.

Dave- Dude, Greg "forgot" his wallet again. Had to pay for his lunch again. Not to mention I bought him an Audi for his birthday last month and all I got was a misspelled "Hapie Berthday" on Facebook today.

Nate- Greg is a shitty friend. What's your guys' friendship reciprocity ratio at now?

Dave- I think he's got our F.R. Ratio down to -$3,000,000 now.

Nate- Wow dude, what a piece of shit.

Friendship Reciprocity Ratio by MasturNater July 1, 2014

friend crossover

Friend crossover is when one friend, introduces another friend to one of her other friends. Then, the two introduced friends, become friends = friend crossover. It can cause extreme angst with the friend who made the introduction, because now they are left at home while her former friends have crossed-over and excluded her from fancy parties and are now new besties!

Emily: I wish I never introduced Gretta to Mikayla. Now they are going to Zach's party together, and didn't even bother to invite me.
Cici: You should have known better - friend crossover never works out! Shoulda' never introduced!

friend crossover by Funny Moms March 30, 2015

Friend Potato 

The most majestic thing to exist. They are calm, happy, and don't usually move. They make great pets and/or friends. They are good to hug when you're sad.

I don't have many friends, so I look forward to seeing my Friend Potato.

Friend Potato by _anonymouspotato_ February 17, 2017

quarter friend 

1. A person that is there for others as a friend during tough times, crisis, and turmoil when others are not.

2. Someone others can count on to be an honest, loyal, reliable, and supportive friend.

3. When a person needs a friend and has nothing more than a quarter (coin) in their pocket, a "quarter friend" is the one they call.

4. The term is used in the song Quarter from Fuel's 2003 album Natural Selection.

Liz's friend moved away and won't speak to her anymore. Michael is there for her as a quarter friend to listen and empathize as she copes with the pain and sadness.

quarter friend by silvertip257 August 25, 2013

Arch-Ex-Friend 

A person who was once someone's closest friend, but who became their worst enemy.
The pain received from having the worst enemy is worse, because of the painful loss of a friend.
Both parties usually become bitter and obsessive.

Josh: What? Why aren't you with Sara? You're always with her!
Jade: Oh, she's my Arch-Ex-Friend now. Haven't you seen her bitter attacks on Facebook?

Arch-Ex-Friend by Reformed August 13, 2010