You need Jesus!

Its the act of telling someone they need a whole lotta help; referring to people who are way past the point of return
Bethany: I have a foot fetish
Mike: You need Jesus!
Bethany: OMG I know
by realniQQa143 April 27, 2016
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Jesus Christ and a half

Sometimes saying Jesus Christ just isn't enough...
Guy #1: Homie... you got a buck or two I can borrow?

Guy #2: Jesus Christ and a half, Carlo! How many times do I have to fucking tell you? I'm done lending you prostitute money.
by reid_o April 05, 2009
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Soy Sauce Jesus

the coolest guy on this fucking planet. vegan and a massive worshipper of unity diner. has the best clothes the world has ever known, and is liked by almost everybody, unless you are called henry. if you meet a soy sauce jesus, be sure to spam comment soy sauce jesus.
gillon: hi lewis
lewis: omfg its a soy sauce jesus, i gotta spam comment asap
by earthling ed May 03, 2020
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Murda Murda Jesus

An anti-christ phrase used to make over religious people feel very offended. Often accompanied by phrases like "666" and "Catholics, so I gotta murda them!".

The phrases come from a song called Lucifer 9, which features these hidden messages when played in reverse.
AntiChrist - "I'm gonna Murda Murda Jesus!"
Christian - *cries*
by Valcatz July 19, 2011
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big baby jesus

bestest rapper in the goddamned universe.
Bib baby jesus postulates, "if a pussy could talk, what would you ask it?"
by Big Baby Jesus April 29, 2005
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jesus fucking christ

the way italians say i haven't seen you for a while
jesus fucking christ man, i aint seen you since that shit went down with that cocksucker pontius pilate
by ray March 25, 2005
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come to jesus meeting

A meeting where someone close to you (e.g. friend, family, etc.) are confronted over behavior that's causing consternation that's negatively effecting your relationship.
"You and your brother need to have a come to jesus meeting over you always having to do his chores and yours."
by DC Daly May 12, 2009
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