Not your dad

I'm not half-a-retard so how could you possibly be my father?

A retard "I'm not your dad!"

Hym "Why? Am I drooling on myself or something? Do I look like half-a-retard to you? Because what are you fucking idiots going to do without me other than get roast by the climate change? Your ass is going to be a popsicle the day after I die from brain fluid."

by Hym Iam February 10, 2025

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Get the Not your dadmug.

step-dad

A cowardice loser who your mom made the mistake of sleeping with after divorcing your equally terrible biological father. Your mom will slowly begin to care about your step-dad more than she cares about you and will completely ignore, or even take his side when he decides to project his own insecurities onto you by relentlessly bullying and trying to make you feel bad about yourself for years. Your entire family will see your step-dad as a good guy and the perfect substitute for your abusive biological father, when little do they know, he causes you the same amount of emotional distress that your biological father used to. Your step-dad will also make you feel like your problems simply don't exist and will call you an attention whore if you even dare to mention or express any type of mental health problems you have in front of him. And the worst part is that you will have to deal with this feeble excuse for a human being until you are old enough and financially stable enough to live on your own.

I hope my mother divorces my step-dad someday

by wise mystical tree October 4, 2022

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Get the step-dadmug.

Dad

A man who goes and gets the milk after you find your mom wrestling with men in bed, naked, and tell him about it. He eventually comes back when you win the lottery.

Me: "Dad, Mom's wrestling again with Jimmy, the neighbor."
Dad: "Ok, Imma go get some milk. You want chocolate or strawberry?" *leaves*

*35 years later*
Me: "Yes, I won the lottery! I'm a millionaire!"
Dad: " You want some milk with that?"

by Milkgetter June 2, 2022

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