Turtle Machine

A machine that displays or creates turtles, see computer

"Hey man, have you seen that new turtle pic?"
"Not yet, haven't been on the Turtle Machine all day"

"Did you know some turtles are brown?"
"You're wrong, I asked the Turtle Machine and the brown ones are called "tortoise"
"Turtle Machine broke"

by Jeffi June 16, 2018

Turtle Slides

When somebody takes a shit in a toilet and after they flush, streaks are left down the inside of the bowl that look similar to the streaks left in mud next to a pond that turtles slide into.

"Dude, what the hell did you eat? A whole pound of cheese?"
"What? Why?"
"You left some wicked bad turtle slides in the toilet."

by TechnoShamanInflux June 17, 2018

Turtle Shell

When it’s cold or not and your dick decides to back inside yourself like a turtles head goes back in it’s shell.

Gawd damn! My dick gawn back in his turtle shell! What’s wrong lil guy? Ya cold? Come on out, I’ll keep ya warm in my hand.

by Dr.EvilRaj July 27, 2018

Turtlefishing

Picking out the chubbiest girl or guy in a crowd and befriending them with intent to sleep with them that night.

We went to jackpot for Mickey and the motor cars concert. Dirty nate went turtlefishing with the biggest girl in the house.

by Fatcatg August 26, 2018

turtless

Some little kid on xbox. He may or may not be downs. Known to stay up past his bedtime.

Wiseguy: Did you see that kid just get spawn killed through a metal wall?
Nameless: Yeah that was turtless for ya

by NamelessArc046 May 21, 2018

Turtle

A Turtle is someone that is usually very clumsy both physically and mentally. They are very vhirpy people but they knock over drinks and ashtrays a lot. When playing board ganes with a Turtle they will constantly need reminded of the rules to the point where you feel the need to spaz-moan and start slapping your face in disbelief. Turtles can also be great Ice Breakers as they can withstand constant barrages of comedic mockery from all angles due to their impenetrable shell.

Whilst playing snakes and ladders, Bobby rolled a 5 and went up a snake... Thinking he was only 3 squares from winning, Bobby was pumped.

^Bobby is an absolute Turtle"
"OMFG Dude You are such a Turtle!"

by StrudlePie June 2, 2018

TURTLEPOP

You or a partner tucking your penis into your ballsack and then getting a boner.

Sarah gave me an awsome turtlepop.

by Jesus66666 September 3, 2018