absolutely wanked

A term used to mean 'drunk' used accidentally as opposed to 'absolutely wankered' when someone is trying to describe their state of drunkness... whilst drunk.

"Ere Billy come up mine tonight pal, yeah?"
"Sos m8 absolutely wanked on pimms ygm lad"

by FuckinBlazeItM8 October 29, 2015

wank on the beach

when you don’t have all the ingredients for sex on the beach ,settle for what you’ve already got, have a wank on the beach

Bro can you give me another wank on the beach, it’s so good!?!?

by CocktailKing67 October 13, 2025

The Lifetime Wank Award

When Some Takes Ages To Cum While Masturbating

I heard That Person Over There Took 4Hours to cum while masturvbating last night,
Wow, He Deserves The Lifetime Wank Award

by uuuuhuhuhuhuhuhu June 25, 2010

Wanking the dog

To waste time doing something unecessary.

Example: Gary got fired for wanking the dog.

by PotsNPan July 16, 2021

wank cycles

When you tactically bat one out so that you'll last longer should you be lucky enough to get some action later on.

Josephina: Wow, honey! You lasted much longer than your standard 45 seconds tonight.

Esteban: Yes, dear. I got my wank cycles right today in the hope of having prolonged sexual intercourse with you this evening. Thanks for noticing. Two minutes is a new record.

by Handsome_Cat April 19, 2022

Midnight Wank

The act of masturbating until tomorrow (the upcoming date). Mostly done at midnight or close to 12AM

Alex: Dude I have just done the best midnight wank ever!
Peter: Why are you telling this to me? What even is a midnight wank?
Alex: Nvm. Wrong chat bro.

by Djukster December 30, 2019

Wank

when a british person masterbates they call it a wank

"Alright im going to have a wank"

by bigfatwank July 17, 2022