Insta-mum

A lovely looking lass, easy on the eye as they say and takes to Instagram to show off her tings with provocatively shot pics and creative use of camera angles, despite the fact that her parents also have social media accounts and might see this shit. Then the fucking slag has a kid. Unable to keep her legs shut long enough to keep out the majority of Insta-dicks, she is seeded and Insta-fuckboy as expected, fucks off. Kid barely starts to just be able to walk and say "Mum" when it's given it's own social media accounts and it's not before time that the kid having gotten a bit older now has access to pictures of his own mum being a tart. As do his friends. You guess the rest. Drugs, many other Insta-siblings from many other Insta-dads, bullying, depression and eventually suicide. Fuuuuuck.

"Yeah boi! Saw your mum on-"
"Fuck off! I know she can't keep her clothes on!"
Why does my mum have to be a Insta-mum? Thought Karl whilst crying/over-eating/masturbating/self mutilating later that day.

"Insta-mum! Insta-mum! Does she take it in the bum?"

"Hey Karl?"
"What?"
"Can I have a go on your Insta-mum?"
"............."

by incumbent sausage July 16, 2018

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Get the Insta-mummug.

insta hoe

literally anyone who has 300+ followers on Instagram

Person 1: damn look at his account, he has 332 followers!
Person 2: damn he an insta hoe frfr

by frogscotch November 26, 2021

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Get the insta hoemug.

Insta-Veneer

The idealized representation of one's life, as represented on Instagram, that one wishes others to believe is true. Often supported by exaggerated accounts of social exploits, and generally accompanied by deliberately posed photographs, one's Instagram Veneer often masks a depressingly banal existence.

I got a peek behind Clarinda's Insta-Veneer yesterday. I don't know who the guy or the kids in her pictures are, because there was no trace of them in her tiny apartment on skid row.

by anonymous May 30, 2022

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