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bachelor bidet

When someone uses a shower as a bidet when there is no toilet paper available or someone is too lazy to buy toilet paper.
I ran out of toilet paper, so I jumped in the bachelor bidet to clean myself.
by Micro Mage March 13, 2020
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Scotch Bidet

The art of washing ones rectum with the shower head after dropping the kids off at the pool.1
There was no toilet paper left in the shop so I've had to resort to using the Scotch Bidet
by Bigcid March 21, 2020
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Reverse Bidet

The exact polar opposite of a bidet; instead of being sprayed with a stream of fresh water from your toilet, you spray your toilet with a high-pressure stream of hot diarrhea.
1. I painted my girlfriends toilet with a Reverse Bidet.

2. Never lift the seat after a Reverse Bidet.
by SpankyJones September 3, 2020
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Reverse-bidet

When a man is urinating in a toilet and uses his stream of piss to pressure wash streaks of poop off the bowl.
I clean my toilet using the reverse-bidet method.
by Darthvader45 November 2, 2020
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Quebec Bidet

When you gracefully leave an upper decker, then use the bowl water to clean yourself afterwards.
Fuck bud, so I was at the corner store and buddy had no shit tickets, so I had to leave an upper decker and use the quebec bidet.
by HighstrikeGTR October 18, 2020
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Hillbilly Bidet

Sometimes when you take a crap at home, you realize one of two things; 1: there is no toilet paper to be found and no one to get it for you or 2: your crap was so disgusting that toilet paper will be no match for it at all. A "Hillbilly Bidet" is when you forsake the use of toilet paper altogether, get up off the toilet and proceed straight to the shower to clean yourself off.
Dude, I got such ridiculous food poisoning that I didn't even attempt to wipe...just went straight to the shower for a hillbilly bidet.
by Poop Geyser June 28, 2011
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Poor Man’s bidet

When a person is defecating and a large splash of water caused by their poop enters the butthole at the perfect time, coincidentally cleaning it.
Thought it was going to be a messy one, but the poor man’s bidet cleaned me right up!
by poopprodigies May 22, 2023
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