depressed wank

After experiencing a sad moment in your life and you try to cheer yourself up by having a wank but you get no pleasure out of it

My mum just died and I have been wanking for ten hours now and it doesn't even feel good, I just want to feel something. I wish I wasn't having a depressed wank

by Dictionaryvision April 18, 2017

wank plank

A piece of wood that you put up against your door handle to stop anyone coming in your room.

hey whats he doing with that plank of wood
i think he's gona use it to stop anybody going into his room whiles he's doing stuff, he calls it his wank plank

by dec457 April 24, 2011

Eskimo Wank

The act of placing your hand in a freezer for an extended period of time and then proceeding to masturbate. Often used by Alex Birtwistle..

Alex: I really fancy having an eskimo wank tonight, but the freezer is broken.
*Alex cries*|

by Penthouse9 February 14, 2015

Maintenance Wank

When you're participating in nofap and you begin to over sexualise things, like apple pies and peanut butter sandwhiches, it's time for a maintenance wank. This keeps your inner sexual deviant at bay, while also reducing the amount of awkward boners you might experience.

Guy 1: "I keep getting stiffies when I see anything that vaguely resembles titties or a vagina, it's killing me."
Guy 2: "Mate, it's time for a maintenance wank. If you don't let off some pressure, your dick is going to take over."

by Zima69err July 13, 2016

mirror wank

pleasing yourself infront of the mirror (sexually) often for the benefit of yourself and sometimes others. people have the incentive to carry out a mirror wank because they find themself aesthetically pleasing. however it is advised not to do this infront of crazy mirrors as this could cause a false sense of confidence or a feeling of belittlement depending on the convexity of the mirror.

'hey bro, i just had an awesome mirror wank'
'gnarley'

by joshco95 November 11, 2013

Reality wank

A masturbatory fantasy about a celebrity you could probably shag in real life such as any of the actresses from " Hollyoaks "

Oh Gladys dont wait up for me I'm off for a reality wank

by Leeny Burghers April 4, 2003

wank master

A wank enthusiast that eat, sleeps and breathes anything assiocted with wanking.

Slaughty: hanks at it again he can't keep he's bloody hand off it.
Hazey: I know he's an absolute wank master

by Slaughty November 24, 2014