Whittaker's table

Pos: Noun

This is when somebody who has a large stomach that protrudes sits down and realizes that they cant reach the table or other surface to place food and eat like a normal person. So they then lean back and puff their stomach out and use it as a mobile table. Works very nicely and can accommodate a Big Mac meal if the technique is used correctly.

"Earlier today i used whittaker's table technique to hold my entire lunch. It saved me the trouble of finding a table! Plus i could eat anywhere i wanted!"

by that guy kyle January 11, 2015

table drugs

drug residue left over after doing drugs on a table

ie: yo scrape me table drugs

by moon poco January 1, 2014

Table Leverage

This occurs when you order the most expensive items to eat and drink for yourself when dining with friends who will spilt the bill evenly. You benefit when the bill is split evenly among the diners by paying less than the cost of your dinner while others pay more than the cost of their dinner.

You order the caviar appetizer, the steak, lobster and fois gras and a dessert which costs $75 in total, when your 3 friends order cheaper items that total $40 each. When you split the the bill ($75+$40+$40+$40=$195/ 4 people = $48.75) you pay 48.75 for your meal that cost $75, and your other guests pay more for their food than it should have cost. Jerry used table leverage by eating like a king and making his vegan friends pay for it.

by Romey M October 30, 2010

table poaching

The act of patrons staking out and claiming a table in a "seat yourself" lounge/restaurant before staff is given a fair chance to buss it off or previous customers leave. This usually happens during a dinner-rush.

This results in the server becoming annoyed and having to awkwardly reach over and make "small talk" with customers as they wipe off the previous mess.

Server 1: " My table is just about to leave, they're getting their coats on. I just have to ring-up a Mastercard, and I can clear it off..."

Server 2: "Too late. Check out the dude at the entrance. Definitely table poaching. He's making a bee-line to 106. Aaaaand, yup, he just asked your table if he could sit there."

by disgruntledserver December 4, 2010

Table 1

noun, often attributive
A retort so dominant, complete, and masterful that any reply would be unwarranted and futile.

My Table 1 ended the debate once and for all.

by CommonConnection March 25, 2021

clubroom table

Noun: the table in the clubroom; a black hole for edibles. Any food placed here WILL be eaten by anyone walking by it. To put food on the clubroom table is to sacrifice any or all sole right to such food.

Verb, "to clubroom table": the act of placing food on the clubroom table. Clubroom tabling food is only a good idea when you are bribing friends to crew your show under the guise of being "friendly".

"Mate I just Clubroom Tabled thirty quid of Sainsbury's snacks. Terrible idea. My producer will never agree to reimburse me."

"Shit dude that's a lot of pizza. Just shove it on the clubroom table, it'll be gone in an hour."

by WillWorkForStash July 29, 2016

Setting the Table

Draping a towel over the back of your partner whilst they maintain a tabular position on their hands and knees, to wipe the pool of semen congregating in the arch of their back, after pulling out of doggystyle to ejaculate on their spine.

"What are you doing in there? Hurry up and set the table, it's sticking to my back and I can't hold this position forever."

*Partner emerges 5 minutes later grasping a towel, ready to set the table after cleaning his penis and enduring a post intercourse piss with a raging hard on*

Or

"I just cum inside these days because I can't be bothered setting the table"

by Nelly191 June 27, 2022