sharp as an apple

An apple, being spherical and smooth, is one of the least sharp objects one could find. The phrase "sharp as an apple" therefore means that the subject is slow mentally. An idiot. It can also be used in a self-deprecating manner whenever someone comments on your failures, though typically it helps if you don't actually believe you are.

Guy 1: Hey man, what do you think would happen if I stuck my hand in this blender and turned it on?
Guy 2: You really are sharp as an apple, you know that?

by Turkey Boy February 27, 2008

Sharpie rule

This universal law states that if one steals a Sharpie marker pen from a colleague's pencil case, it will become the thief's possession once the thief has owned it for longer than the original owner.

"He stole my new Sharpie marker but I can't take it back because of the goddamn Sharpie rule."

by blindorange October 2, 2009

sharpest tool in the shed

Those rare individuals you find who, in addition to formal education, have considerable life experience, most likely from the School of Hard Knocks, and unlike the majority of the population, these individuals allow their vast pool of wisdom and knowledge to eventually shed their Ego and open up to Enlightenmentand and find their Path and then Enlightenment as many others as humanly possible. "Jack of All Trades"

"I just hired this sharp new gal Kristine as my Life Support Specialist. She not only has a formal education, but appears to have attended the School of Hard Knocks as well. She appears to have had a tough life but I'd say she's the sharpest tool in the shed that I've ever met to date!

by LoneStarPatio December 10, 2015

sharpei

A penis with an excessive amount of foreskin; usually in triangular form.

Wow, Brian sure does have a sharpei!

by KG mones September 16, 2005

sharpie sniffer

Someone that is so broke, they have to sniff sharpies to get high.

dude julio is such a sharpie sniffer.

by Patrick + Lorna May 5, 2005

sharp

nice as in good looking

She has on a pair of sharp shoes.

by fayeson November 17, 2009

Sharpie

A fishing term used to classify an elite angler who always seems to be in the right place at the right time because he is always "on the fish". His prowess is so keyed in that you could put a sharpie in the worst possible fishing environment (weeds, snow, hurricane winds...), and he will still catch a trophy fish because he knows something that no one else knows, exactly how to present which lure/bait in which conditions to attract any fish that are present.

I was at the beach yesterday and there were 20 other guys and no one could catch a cold...except Adam, he's a real sharpie on the surf, I think they started called him the fish whisperer after his 7th bass

by Bassmaster427 November 15, 2010