split screening

The act of stealthily masturbating behind two distracted video game players and ejaculating on both of them. Bonus points for headshots, quickscopes, and 360 noscopes.

Gary and his boyfriend were playing Halo all day so I splitscreened them while they were in sudden death. Even got a headshot on Gary.

Beth keeps split screening Dave and I, maybe we should tie her up in the basement.

by Simian187 February 11, 2014

Stretching it out

The act of pulling your flaccid penis to its erect length, so as to demonstrate its possible size when suffering the embarrassment of erectile dysfunction

So I got with this chick last night but I just ended up stretching it out for an hour.

by Crizzay June 23, 2015

chicken scratching

To flinch, or twitch uncontrolably falling to sleep, or while semi-concious.

"That crack head is fuckin chicken scratchin!"

"Spoky is fuckin chicken scratchin!"

by Leon "rinse burger" May 13, 2004

pork scratchings

Pork scratchings is the term for the left over 'crumbs' after the penis ejaculates and is not cleaned or wiped, and the remaining dried up semen is brushed/scratched off.

See also wordknobcheese/word

Please excuse the mess on your brand new black suit, I had pork scratchings.

by Teaboy September 23, 2003

speeching

When someone has to turn every conversation into a "I told you so" speech. Never can they just have a casual talk. They make everything seem as though they're still in the high-school debate club.

"I asked you when it's gonna rain, not how our environment is being ruined by pollution."

by Mr. Defn May 19, 2004

Scrotching

When a man provides unwanted advice about how to play a sport better

Jimmy loved scrotching all of the women on his co-ed softball team on how to be better athletes.

by Wohovio October 25, 2017

scritching

To scratch your balls so hard that your future children have a scar.

Adam blamed his child's handicap on all the scritching he did in his younger days.

by Daniel Einarsson December 15, 2014