bad handjob

n. a true fuck-up in the execution of something that should be exceedingly simple resulting in something less than expected

-I hear Survivor is being made into a movie, finally.
-Yeah, but Palahniuk is having nothing to do with it.
-Oh, that's a bad handjob waiting to happen.

by futz! October 23, 2008

hobo handjob

A handjob given without the aid of lubricant, as one might expect when trading a hobo crack for sexual stimulation.

"We were trying to keep it quiet, so she just gave me a hobo handjob. My dick's still chaffed!"

"Hold it, bitch! Are you trying to start a fucking fire with that Hobo Handjob??"?

by hjlarry November 30, 2009

western grip handjob

a handjob that is given when the hand is upside down and the thumb is free to explore

My girlfriend just gave me a WESTERN GRIP HANDJOB

by bob moorhay March 16, 2009

surprise handjob

When you shake someones hand and while you shake their hand you pull them in and touch their hand to your groin area. then you yell surprise handjob! and talk about how gay he is for touching your junk

"dude, i just totally surprise handjobed josh, he is so gay now"

by Dj Horan March 9, 2012

Monkey Handjob

When a sexual transaction between hand and penis leaves vigorous pain along the shaft usually preformed by an African American woman

Man one : hey bro why your dick red
Man two: Monkey handjob

by IndecisiveMockery January 5, 2021

Siskel & Ebert Handjob

Dual, simultaneous handjobs, one standard style with thumb up and one western grip handjob style with thumb down.

She was sitting between us at the movie, so she went ahead and gave us a Siskel & Ebert Handjob!

by Mike Romaine from Florida August 25, 2010

Buttery Serendipitous Handjob

The act of poking ones male genitalia through a bag of buttery popcorn you are sharing with a woman at the movies. When the women reaches for a handful of popcorn she acquires instead a handful of buttery penis. Thus the Buttery Serendipitous Handjob is created.

Trent- Grant got a Buttery Serendipitous Handjob at the movies from that hood-rat yesterday!

Max- Hes my hero.

by What Grant did to her June 30, 2011