assism

The belief that if you can make an ass of yourself, you will. Similar to Murphy's Law.

Stephen: "Dude, you're making yourself look like an ass!"
Anthony: "Man, assism must be true!"

by K.P.V. May 20, 2008

status assassin

Someone who misuses the word "status" as a concrete object in the workplace. This is usually the sign of a micro-manager or someone working their way towards middle management.

Mary: I asked for that report last week. Can I get a status?
Bob: It's almost done

Mary: I need a status on that requisition.
Phil: It should be ready by Tuesday.

Mary: Could you give me a status on the new program?
Alan: Sure, how about "pending?"
Mary: Uh no, I mean... I need to know... Uh...
Alan: What? I gave you a status, you status assassin!

by Jock Tam July 28, 2009

Men's Asses!

Pronounced: MEAAHNS ASSESS!
An expression you use as a substitute for Fuck, shit, crap, damn, dammit, etc.

Danny: I saw your mom at the mall last night; i think she was returning your new kicks.
Joe: Men's Asses!

by VickiDefiner February 14, 2009

administrative assistant

An individual (usually a woman) that does clerical work and provides administrative support to his/her co-workers. Usually over-worked and under-paid.

Dumbass: "Hey Jill, when you have a moment can you fax this for me? I'm an idiot and I don't know how."

by Anonymous September 8, 2003

assass

A person who has multiple asses

That assass just got buttfucked in the face

by Jason June 25, 2003

Assassin

A trained killer hired for money to kill other people.

Assassin is also a song by the rock band Muse, it is probably the heaviest song on their new album

Guy 1:"I'll give you, being an assassin, £300 to kill this guy"
Guy 2: "Just a sec, I'm listening to this awesome song by Muse!"

by Tommy P1313 March 4, 2007

assman

See Cosmo Kramer, the assman.

(In the parking lot just outside the hospital, Kramer has pulls into a "Doctors Only" space)

Security Guard: Can I help you?

Kramer: Ah, yeah. Doctor Cosmo Kramer. (points to assman plate) Proctology.

Security Guard: Oh, oh, okay. Sure...

Kramer: Thanks. Have a good day.

by EliteNavySeals September 20, 2005