Tommy Turtle

this guy fucks on god he does

Yo do you know Tommy Turtle the official bricked up boy he fucks on god he does.

by notcoltonongod January 27, 2022

sea turtle ass

A large chunk of fat or skin that covers someone butt, comparable to a sea turtles shell.

God damnit she has a sea turtle ass

by Pizzawithcheese5 September 12, 2021

turtling

when you go to take a shit but you dont finish and you end up walking around making it hard to walk normally

im sorry ma i cant come downstairs

ma: jimmy are you okay?
no ma why dont you get me some laxitives
ma: youre turtling again arent you
i said no mom im not turtling i just need some laxitives
ma: no your turtling
all i wanted was some laxies just one laxy

by fat nickle berry September 17, 2025

turtle bath

A bath that is extremely cold and causes the males penis to shrivel up like a turtle. Usually taken for injuries or fevers. Only can happen to a male since they have penises.

I had to take a turtle bath last week to help my fever go down, my junk was practically gone since it was so cold!

by Thewolfsdove June 10, 2016

asphyxiated turtle head

pronounced- ass fix ee eight ed ter tul hed, which is the state of a mans penis when attempting to pee after having been in an uncomfortably cold temperature for a range of time. Asphyxiated turtle head can even cause pain in the tip and give the sensation of still having urine that needs to be expelled.

"damn this asphyxiated turtle head! ive been forcing out drops of piss for 3 minutes!"

by MercWidaMouth November 14, 2010

turtle-eenie-weenie

An extravagant method of describing something so cute and minute that it forces the exclaimer to explain it in absolute nonsensical reptilian terms.

oh my goodness this babies toes are so turtle-eenie-weenies

by vapegodalbert April 22, 2022

Pettin’ the Turtle

A situation when one takes an incomplete shit, leaving a protruding “turtle head” behind. The shitter then must pet the lodged turtle head approximately 70 times with toilet paper or moist wipes, shitter’s choice of course.

Mary was pettin’ the turtle for a solid hour after the lunch special at Benihana.

by Daddylongdick813 October 30, 2019