Wanker's Dozen

Used to describe the phenomenon of achieving 13 wanks in a day.

Common with self-employed geeks and students.

Comparible to the finite number of times you can fold a piece of paper, the wanker's dozen is rarely beaten.

Derived from bakers dozen, except the bread rolls are spooge-filled tissues

Typical conversation:

M: "My bell end is red-raw."

J: "Why's that?"

M: "Wanker's Dozen"

J: "I am Not suprised"

by Lamb McDan May 11, 2009

you wanker

Wanker, an insult reserved for one who is rude, lazy and/or an all around bastard. Calling someone a wanker is akin to calling them a tool or a jerk. Originating in the UK.

You've been ducking me over 20$ for 6 months, you wanker.

by WankTarz May 11, 2016

Chinese Wanker

1. A wanker of the Chinese variety. Usually attributed to those people who take advantage of others friendship while regularly doing and saying stupid things. Can be used as a derogatory insult even if there is seemingly no chinese connection, in fact this is most often the case.

2. A fun thing to say at random times for little or no reason in order to invoke others into repeating the term.

1. Hakeem : Let's go to the shops today boys
Sam : Yeah ok
Jim : Sure thing
At the shops - Hakeem : I forgot my money, could you buy me some sweets? And a drink? And some donuts?
Jim : For fucks sake hakeem
Sam : You're such a Chinese wanker

2. Sam : Aha what a wanker
Jim : Seems a little Chinese too
Liam : A chinese wanker for sure
Sam : True Chinese wanker
Jim : Chi Chi Chi Chinese wanker!!!
All : Chinese Wanker!!!

by SirSammyG July 12, 2016

wanked

past tense: slang term for masturbation

1. The boy wanked himself.

by Katrina ((Kitty)) September 27, 2005

Wankentine's Day

This is the wanker's day, celebrated on Feb 14, this is similar to Valentine's Day but for persons who have no sexual partner and thus resort to wanking themselves. This is a special day of remembrance for wankers of their own status.

Bob: Hey Frank, wish you a happy Wankentine's Day

Frank: Same to you Bob.

by SantoshGeorge February 14, 2008

Wankers Cramp

The most deadly of all british diseases.

Person 1 : "somebody call an ambulance this limey needs urgent medical assistance apparently he has wankers cramp"

by copy_zero August 6, 2011

Wakey Wakey Hands off Snakey

Stop wanking and get up!

My brother busted into my room yelling "Wakey Wakey hands off Snakey" to awaken me while I tried spanking the monkey a little before work.

by Kooh July 7, 2011