chav

youve seen them. they stand around bus stations and macdonalds with burberry (is that how its spelt) hats, and immitation tracksuits. dont forget the cheap "bling" and obsession with mobile phones.

chavs try to pronounce as little constonants in a word as possible,and ay it as rude as possible so "may i see your phone?" becomes "oi may le mee c ur fon"

the female chav will listen to any black woman singing about how they got cheated on by their ex. the male will listen to rappers talking about how they "blow caps in a n***** ass" on the "westside" (the male chav will also claim they are from the "westside" even if they are clearly easter)

"omg innit bruv, 'e cul'd uz shovs"
"no, i called u a chav"
"is i' coz am black?"
"but your white"
"cum on dave, lez leave dis twa' n' go to du kebab van"

by kubrick fan June 26, 2005

chav

As virilent as bubonic plague and spreading like rats emerging from their lairs these undesirables are spawning a legion of illegitimate 'chavlets.'
Linger round Oldham Street & Piccadilly Gardens in Manchista and watch the 'chavometer' peak!
Low chav index before midday tho' as they're still in their pits!
Baying and snarling like a pack of jackals round a wounded prey,basball caps cocked at an angle they take everything out of the system but put tap-all back!
Render the bastards down!
Chavs ferried in at one end -melted tacky jewellry and Rockport residue exuding out of the other!!
Only Argos Jewellry counters and Cash Generators would miss them.

'Garot a chav today !
Keep the detritus at bay !!''

''I'm innocent !
I've dun nuffin Mr.Dibble !
I woz dumpin me load into one ov me bitches at that time.
Honest mate.
She'd bunked off skool.''

by Bod June 7, 2004

chav

Chav = Council House And Violent

Sheesh, what's with all the chavs?

by Chavs Annoy Me July 13, 2005

chav

A boy/girl (chavette), who loves to 'impress'. They do this by wearing 'Burberry, Adidas, Rockport boots, and the like. Sometimes these are not even fake (usually a cheap accessory or something). The strange thing is though, they actually, in their tiny minds, think they look stylish. Mind you, that socks outside the tracky bottoms thing could catch on, (in Uzbeckistan or somewhere). They are the coolest things on earth as far as they're concerned. Every sane person knows that on the coolness scale they come a few places below molten lava flowing through a blast furnace. Its not their faults because they just don't know anything about style, they need help. So please, please, the next time you see one please just tell them what prats they look. (Don't be frightened 'cos these aren't even plastic gangsters, more like cotton wool wanksters). we must do something cos these youngsters are our future generation and at the moment they actually think the word chav is a compliment. Need I say more

Fake Burberry , loads of gold (that magically turns green), in their ears and on their fingers, any sports tracksuit (bottoms tucked in socks), the most gaudy naff trainers available. Often with chavette in tow similarly attired

Source: gus7268, Dec 29, 2004

to quote starsailor they're just poor misguided fools

by gus7268 January 2, 2005

chav

chavs are mindless bitches that dont have the knoledge to speak properly
for example "wat up bruv ows it anging init" "cool blad but some grungies dont even know illav em"

weird chav

by ugy August 1, 2009

chav

A humanoid drone with no intentions in life other than to go to prison, steal things from old women, and beat 4 year olds. In this episode of "Exploring Vermin", we dissect the Chav's existance.

1: Morals

A Chav is motivated not by its own brain(whether or not it has one is unknown) but rather the actions of its pack(see 2), with some of its more aggresive actions fuelled by the beatings it was given whenever it made a single noise for the first 5 years of its life. It generally aims to:

-piss off every living thing around it
-make itself look like a complete arse
-chug enough monster and red bull to make an ant be able to cross the world twice in around half an hour

2: Interactions of its kind

Chavs hunt in a small pack of 5-6 males with one or two chavettes, usually for extra dickhead motivation. The group of arseholes will then try to look hard in front of the female(s). The Chav will attack anything nearby, including small children, brick walls and postboxes, usually ending in an ASBO.

3: Sustenance

Chavs will consume anything as long as it is not healthy in any way. Chavettes notably treat vegetables as poison.

4: Friends

-none found-

5: Enemies

-cannot display, number exceeds 99999999.

6: Reproduction

Chavs and chavettes will reproduce once every few weeks, ers, a scientifically proven fact.

7: Intelligence

Ha, that's a good joke.

8: Conclusion

Both the chav and chavette need to become extinct for humanity to remain profitable.

Louis: yo blad what u bin sayin??
Kev: nothin mate juss bin wiv chantelle
Gazza: aaay fams wot ya doin
Louis: blud, wot u doin yeh?
Gazza: startin fam? STARTIN?
Louis: an whaat blud? i bang you mum
*Gazza walks off, muttering "u succh a chav blud"*

by David Attenbourough September 1, 2012

Chav

Ages can range from a minimum of 12 reaching the maximum of 30 and possibly above.Locations can range from parks to council houses to town flats.Rarely seen on there own,usually in packs as you will find they are quite useless on their own.They are unable to comply with the law and are pronouned for their bad attitudes in society.Very hard to reason with even worse to understand.Incapable of thinking for themselves,hense their codes of dress,they have to look like clones of each other.They enjoy activities such as creating spawn to carry on their cult.They are extreamly vile-mouthed that always have something petty to say also they are very argumentative.They interrigate other people and make a society look deprived.

Chav 1-"u owt 2nyt brav"
Chav 2-"yeh mayte nt got mch cash dole cme in layt"
Chav 1-"sme blad bad dat init"
Chav 2-"yh blad"

by Kirrky April 1, 2009