Sad Wank

To go home after a bad night out or other disheartening event and console ones self by sitting in the dark and having a wank. Also know as pulling a Joni or an SW. ( crying optional but recommended)

Just got knocked back by a blind midget... I'm going home for a sad wank.

by The Marine Scientist November 12, 2013

wank bollocks

really bad thing

oh mate thats totally wank bollocks

by wankbollocks December 7, 2021

Wank Royal

A wank with a Johnny on. The kind of wank you treat yourself to have, you don't have it everyday because its the 'royal' treatment.

Adapted from the inbetweeners - Neil, if the pressures ever to much you can borrow one of my johnnys and have a wank royal. A what? You know a wank royal, a wank with a johnny on.

by smackmyass August 27, 2013

wank

a word used when trying to explain your whereabouts to your parents

"Where are you Kevin?"
"Uh. wank. zlurp. kweep. roger's house. WAAAANK!"

by meepers September 5, 2008

wank twist

Someone who twisted their cock.

John: hey you wank twist!

by Johnbread January 2, 2021

hangover wank

the act of masturbation to over come the ill effects of hangover.

wow, i feel like shit, why did i drink so much!? the only thing that can help me now is a hangover wank!

by jimmykay47 November 22, 2011

wank blanket

this is often an old shirt or towel which a frustrated bloke beats his meat on to so his milky tears of human love don't stain his favourite aunts mattress

jesus i could do with strangling the one eyed monster!! where's my wank blanket??....yes auntie i'll be down in a minute

by POWER B May 14, 2003