Crumpet snatcher

An extremely offensive British offensive, meaning to steal ones freshly buttered crumpets

"Did you steal my tea?" You're such a crumpet snatcher!"

by Yllom.gollom October 4, 2016

Buttering the Crumpets

When you cum while pooping at the same time and the cum is spread on the poop before it hits the water. The penis may also be used as a buttering knife.

Yo' Derek what are you going to do later?
Probably just go home, drink a few beers, and try to butter the crumpets again.
What? Yo, buttering the crumpets is easier when you don't drink.

by poopbutter August 21, 2013

tea & crumpets

something gingers eat for lunch

oh those tea & crumpets look nice

by GrannyNorma21 July 19, 2017

Donald Crumpet

Any depressing fact about Donald Trump that you must digest.

How many Donald Crumpets are in one newspaper?

by Ereck Flowers October 23, 2018

Humpin' the crumpet

1. Light-hearted joking
2. Lube-less anal sex
Closest synonym: joshin'

Don't get offended, bro. I was just humpin' the crumpet.

I didn't mean to kill your mom - I was humpin' her crumpet and my dick stabbed all the way through.

by thescholar(i read dostoyevsky) December 16, 2018

penis crumpet

Penis Crumpet:
When one ejaculates from their erect penis so hard, it shrivels and flattens. This will only occur when overstimulation takes place, after many orgasms.

“I came so hard, now I have a penis crumpet”
“Maybe you should go to a doctor, Jim.”

by Dr. Digbick September 29, 2018

Crumpet fucker

A slurr to use against the British

Get some braces you crumpet fucker

by Jack sparky October 21, 2023