jesus freak

A title atheists give to anyone who follows Christianity.

Bob: Hi, I'm Bob and I'm a Christian. I believe Jesus died for my sins.

Rick: YOU FUCKING INTOLERANT JESUS FREAK!!! ALL YOU DO IS SHOUT HOW JESUS LOVES YOU!!!

Bob: <walks away>

by david smith, jr. February 10, 2008

Laser Jesus

when somebody says laser jesus they mean a speed control camera. the word itself comes from the ancient sayings that jesus saved a lot of lives. Laser Jesus = a version of jesus that saves lives through laser beams.

GPS: "Laser Jesus coming up in 150 yards, slow down."

by Hakif July 29, 2009

jesus dyke

A swear word similar to jesus christ when used as an exclamation.

jesus dyke, that PBR is cheap!

jesus dyke! i'd love to snuggle up to those tits tonight!

by CruJones February 24, 2006

Jesus Christ

The Supposed Leader Of Christianity But Is Actually Beezlebub In Disguise Satan, and we all know that we can disprove christianity lie but they are mainly disregarded as conspiracy

Jesus Christ the son of god FTW!

by Macca From Yass June 14, 2008

Jesus Train

A nickname for a friend who is somewhat religious(Or at least pretends to be) and you play basketball with. Mainly used at summer bible camps and church leagues. This person is usually a ball hog. His 2 moves are run down the lane, charging in similar to a train. Or throwing it up from half court. This person is a real bummer to even be around.

Josh: "Here he comes again!"
Chris: "He never passes the ball, and gets blocked every time."
Dustin: "I really hate him."
Chris: "Don't invite Jesus Train to play ball ever again."

by Chris Pence May 9, 2011

latino jesus

I guy that likes to flirt a shit load and usually gets girls to flirt back......but not in front of their boyfriend.he is amazing at pulling in girls,but People close to him don't think that.side hoes are easy for him, now all he needs is a Maine girl

Latino jesus:hey you got nice tits
Girl1: thanks(;
Jesus:can I touch them .
Girl 1: sure....wait my bf coming get away

by Dhdudifh April 22, 2017

Toenitheu Jesus

Toenitheu Jesus( toe-nith-u-penis) is a alpha wolf man who has a alter ego, AKA Tony. He uses this alter ego to hide the fact that he is a hot sexy beast who gives toe jobs toe random squirrels on the sidewalk. although at first glance he may seem like a mega boner doner hottie who pulls all the elderly men, he does have a secret soft spot. His weakness is right between his big juicy ass cheeks. Tonypoo loves his “Daddychipmunk” who basically is this mega sextron squirrel who carries all around his acorns and nuts and such and sticks them in peoples butthole. Toenitheu is a big fan of this ritual. Tony chooses solely to wear spandex to everywhere he goes to put his 282728293837372992283737282737363 kilometer slong on display because he’s a little whore with a degrading kink. heard he wore fortnite spandex with his blazer at his baptism and the pastor got a boner. All in all Tony is a soft core hottie guy and all the other guys hate him and wanna be him cuz they’re jealous.

“yo did you see that video of that super hot sexy Toenitheu Jesus man sucking some squirrels nuts?”

“yeah he’s such a sexy reckless baddie… i heard he even had to go to ER for rabies or something cuz his sexy ass went total beast mode.”

by penisloverxoxo26 November 22, 2021