jesus freak

A title atheists give to anyone who follows Christianity.

Bob: Hi, I'm Bob and I'm a Christian. I believe Jesus died for my sins.

Rick: YOU FUCKING INTOLERANT JESUS FREAK!!! ALL YOU DO IS SHOUT HOW JESUS LOVES YOU!!!

Bob: <walks away>

by david smith, jr. February 10, 2008

Laser Jesus

when somebody says laser jesus they mean a speed control camera. the word itself comes from the ancient sayings that jesus saved a lot of lives. Laser Jesus = a version of jesus that saves lives through laser beams.

GPS: "Laser Jesus coming up in 150 yards, slow down."

by Hakif July 29, 2009

jesus dyke

A swear word similar to jesus christ when used as an exclamation.

jesus dyke, that PBR is cheap!

jesus dyke! i'd love to snuggle up to those tits tonight!

by CruJones February 24, 2006

Jesus Christ

The Supposed Leader Of Christianity But Is Actually Beezlebub In Disguise Satan, and we all know that we can disprove christianity lie but they are mainly disregarded as conspiracy

Jesus Christ the son of god FTW!

by Macca From Yass June 14, 2008

Scouse Jesus

This relates to keef patto on fb the sexiest scouse jesus in Liverpool. #jesusvidal #boozersexiestmale2020

Scouse jesus is patto of Liverpool a realise angel.

by Scouse jesus March 6, 2021

jesus tools

Your hands

I lost my brush a week ago. At least I still have my Jesus tools

by Katbut December 27, 2013

Stinky Jesus

When a person drags their hand across their butthole and smacks you in the face with it. Similar to a Wet Jesus.

Whenever I try to touch my boyfriend's asshole during sex, he panics and gives me a Stinky Jesus.

by WetWaterPark July 5, 2017