Everything You Know is Wrong

a peak song by weird al

I was driving on the freeway in the fast lane
With a rabid wolverine in my underwear
When suddenly a guy behind me in the back seat
Popped right up and cupped his hands across my eyes
I guessed, "Is it Uncle Frank or Cousin Louie?"
"Is it Bob or Joe or Walter?"
"Could it be Bill or Jim or Ed or Bernie or Steve?"
I probably would have kept on guessing
But about that time we crashed into the truck
And as I'm laying bleeding there on the asphalt
Finally, I recognize the face of my hibachi dealer
Who takes off his prosthetic lips and tells me
Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everything you thought was just so
Important doesn't matter
Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong
I was walkin' to the kitchen for some Golden Graham's
When I accidentally stepped into an alternate dimension
And soon I was abducted by some aliens from space
Who kinda looked like Jamie Farr
They sucked out my internal organs
And they took some Polaroids
And said I was a darn good sport
And as a way of saying thank you
They offered to transport me back to
Any point in history that I would care to go
And so I had them send me back to last Thursday night
So I could pay my phone bill on time
Just then the floating disembodied head of
Colonel Sanders started yelling
Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everyt

Everything You Know is Wrong by NickKeyboard December 25, 2025

Everything Hole

slang for butthole/anus

Yo Jason you tryna see what this everything hole is about son!

Everything Hole by humblegay January 24, 2026

Everything Is A Cult Now Theory

The sociological observation that modern society, thanks to the internet shattering mass media monoculture, has fragmented into countless competing tribes, fanbases, and ideological subcultures that all operate with cult-like dynamics. It's not that actual high-control groups with abusive leaders have multiplied, but that the psychological architecture of cults—fervent belief, "us vs. them" identity, devotion to a leader or ideology, and the conviction that the mainstream is fundamentally broken—has become the default mode for online fandoms, political movements, brand loyalists, and wellness communities. The theory argues we've gone back to a pre-20th century norm where culture is just "a bunch of cults stacked on top of each other".

*Example: "Explaining the Everything Is A Cult Now Theory to my dad, I said, 'You had three TV channels and called it culture. We have 8 million micro-communities on niche apps. Your Star Trek fan club was a dorky hobby; our 'Stanny' Twitter circle that analyzes every Swift lyric for secret messages and attacks anyone who criticizes her is a full-blown digital congregation. Same human wiring for belonging, just a different prophet and a worse holy text.'"*

Everything Is A Cult Now Theory by AbzuInExile January 31, 2026

Everything-but-the-bagel

A play on the infamous Trader Joe’s seasoning, that indicates that one’s sexual encounter included all bases/acts EXCEPT for sexual intercourse.

“Hey, Helen! How far did you go with Chuck?”
“We did everything-but-the-bagel, because I vowed to save myself for marriage”

Everything-but-the-bagel by MichiganGirl67 March 22, 2026

everything you do is pretty

When you have a like 82% success rate with doing things earnestly pretty

Wow. You're going to get so bullied for elegance, since everything you do is pretty.

everything you do is pretty by november18th April 29, 2026

Stupid is transiting everything

Stupid is transiting everything — The best answer to anyone who wants YOU to read their astrological chart; Tarot Cards, I Ching ; palm; or use any form of divination to tell them about THEIR future.

Stupid is transiting everything!!!!!

How can you ask about yourself WHEN THE WORLD IS ON FIRE!!!!!!??????

This is actually based on mystical law of hierarchy.

If the sun of your solar system goes nova; then, it really doesn’t matter if you have had a good reading, does it?

If the earth is hit by a giant asteroid; then whatever “good Karma” you have is overridden by the earths destiny.

“Stupid transiting everything” is not a sun going nova; or, an asteroid striking the earth; but, it is a tragic miasma that overshadows everything — especially approaches to problem solving.

This renders forms of symbolic thinking — ancient or modern — useless! Emotional and tribal behavior currently reign supreme; and, discourse has degenerated to slogans and word salads.

Read an astrological chart and when you are done slap a big sticker on it that says: Stupid is transiting everything!

Do a Tarot spread and when you are done, cover the reading with a card that says: Stupid is transiting everything!

Throw the I Ching — read the hexagrams and then immediately say the next hexagram arising means: Stupid is transiting everything.

Look at the lines on a palm and announce: Stupid is transiting everything.

You can’t go wrong with this reading in America 2023.

Astrologer:

You have asked me to look at your chart and tell you any obstacles I see that will obstruct your attainment of your noble goals. I have looked at the position of your Saturn, your Mars, and their relationship to your sun and my conclusion is: Stupid is transiting everything.

Stupid is transiting everything by Mind Hunter the Profiler September 19, 2023

why is everything on here related to sex 

I don’t know man. We’re both asking the same question but will never find the answer.

John:I’m gonna look up shark to find out about what they are what they’re living conditions are for my own information

*looks it up*

John: why is everything on here related to sex

why is everything on here related to sex by Onion ring123456789 October 1, 2020