Constipation Sneeze

The act of inducing a sneeze in order to speed up a bowel movement.

Jack: I have to take a dump babe.
Jill: Okay, just hurry. The movie starts in 2 minutes
*Jack returns after 1:30*
Jill: That was quick. Why is your nose so runny and your eyes so red?
Jack: I had to snort popcorn salt to induce a constipation sneeze.
Jill: Awh honey I'm so proud of you!
*Lives happily ever after*

by Loller4429 October 2, 2016

Constipating

To contemplate life while in a shitty situation.

I was constipating how I had ended up face down ass up in my neighbor's front yard with a bottle of Jack next to me.

by fRISKY rISKY April 19, 2022

cornstipated

When you eat too much corn and it makes you constipated.

You eat too much corn and poop a lot of it.

Ugh, I’ve eaten so much corn recently, I’m cornstipated.

by Sashley04 July 10, 2022

Occupational Constipation

When you just can't give a shit about something at work. This is usually due to seeing wonderful new programs fall on their faces time and time again.

Worker 1: Hey, did you see we're having a raffle to win plastic water guns?! You get tickets by bringing in school supplies!!!! It's such a great idea!
Worker 2: Sorry, I'm suffering from a bad case of occupational constipation.

by Dilberto, Prince of Mierda August 26, 2013

Facebook Constipation

Refraining from posting to social media for an extended period due to lack of motivation, internet service, stupid people, etc. Often followed by Facebook Diarrhea.

Sorry for posting so much lately; I just got over a bout of Facebook Constipation.

by JohnnyApocalypse September 13, 2015

Reverse constipation

You know that feeling when you're in bed and you have that hard and throbing sensation in your asshole that feels like you're taking a shit but instead it's crawling right back up there to go make a nest for its Satan babies.

To have a dick stuck up your ass making it feel like reverse constipation

by LetMeGoTokyoDemons March 28, 2016

parking lot constipators

those assholes who plug up parking lots aisles while waiting for a spot to open up close to the front door of the desired store they want to shop at

Went to Costco today and got trapped by a group of "parking lot constipators" that stopped traffic in both directions.

by the big effer April 7, 2011