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Definitions by JohnnyApocalypse

Youtinerary 

Everybody else: It’s good to have an itinerary set before going on a road trip across the country.

Me: Screw your youtinerary. I’m moving to the Southwest to do, idk, something with turquoise.
Youtinerary by JohnnyApocalypse August 17, 2022

Glutenpoopen

A side effect of gluten intolerance and failure to maintain strict dietary discipline.
I ate wheat bread, now I’m glutenpoopen

poisonetta 

A tasty plant belonging to the family Euphorbiaceae, easily recognized by their red and green foliage and widely used in Christmas floral displays.
The plant store sold nearly 300 poisonettas the week before Christmas.
poisonetta by JohnnyApocalypse December 17, 2020

Fart, Fart, Shart 

A game of chance one plays alone, or in a group. First one to shart, loses. Traditionnally, one finds themself embroiled in a game of Fart, Fart, Shart after dining on Chipotle or similar faire.
Kids play 'Duck, Duck, Goose.' Men play 'Fart, Fart, Shart'.

Flipping Another Man's Meat 

An expression made famous (and controversial) by Heineken and their openly gay spokesperson, Neil Patrick Harris, which pokes fun at the sanctity of a man's barbecue and (presumably) his heterosexuality.
According to Neil Patrick Harris, Heineken Light "makes it OK to flip another man's meat" to which the griller replies that no man can do that. (Should include syntactical variations of 'Flipping Another Man's Meat'.)

Dick Missile 

America's latest, greatest, and most effective sucka-seeking explosive projectile since Nagasaki. (Funded willingly by you, the taxpayer.)
Chill bro. If North Korea wants to pick a fight, our dick missiles will send them back to the stone age.
Dick Missile by JohnnyApocalypse October 1, 2015

Socrates Troll 

A master of logic and philosophical debate who has nothing better to do than undermine your worldview for their amusement, causing you to want to punch them in the face, then force-feed them hemlock.
Congrats. You just poked a giant hole in my logic. You could've been a lawyer and fought for justice, but instead you're just a Socrates Troll. Your talent is wasted on your amusement and my annoyance, so yes, I am mad, Bro.
Socrates Troll by JohnnyApocalypse September 18, 2015