JohnnyApocalypse's definitions
A game of chance one plays alone, or in a group. First one to shart, loses. Traditionnally, one finds themself embroiled in a game of Fart, Fart, Shart after dining on Chipotle or similar faire.
by JohnnyApocalypse November 9, 2016
Get the Fart, Fart, Shart mug.Someone whose questionable actions cause you to learn an important lesson and then they pretend it was their plan to enlighten you all along.
(South Park) While Stan's ploy to distract others from his own dishonesty inadvertently led to people taking up a positive cause, his "that was really my plan all along" attitude cemented his reputation as a Sneaky Butthole.
(Arrested Development) George Senior's use of Sneaky Butthole tactics to teach his children life lessons may have traumatized them, but they sure didn't forget to leave a note on the fridge again. Ever.
(Arrested Development) George Senior's use of Sneaky Butthole tactics to teach his children life lessons may have traumatized them, but they sure didn't forget to leave a note on the fridge again. Ever.
by JohnnyApocalypse August 27, 2013
Get the Sneaky Butthole mug.The apparent difference in the rate of time perceived by someone taking a dump compared to the rest of the world. (For every minute you think you've been sitting on the toilet, 80-100 seconds have actually gone by.) The Turd Law rarely holds up to empirical measurement, and is therefore considered by the scientific community to be a big load of crap.
Boss: "If you weren't in there droppin' a deuce for so long you might be done your work by now."
Me: "I was in there for five minutes. Six tops."
Boss: "More like 15 or 20…"
Me: "Well I'll be damned. I just proved the Turd Law of Relativity."
Me: "I was in there for five minutes. Six tops."
Boss: "More like 15 or 20…"
Me: "Well I'll be damned. I just proved the Turd Law of Relativity."
by JohnnyApocalypse October 23, 2013
Get the Turd Law of Relativity mug.A master of logic and philosophical debate who has nothing better to do than undermine your worldview for their amusement, causing you to want to punch them in the face, then force-feed them hemlock.
Congrats. You just poked a giant hole in my logic. You could've been a lawyer and fought for justice, but instead you're just a Socrates Troll. Your talent is wasted on your amusement and my annoyance, so yes, I am mad, Bro.
by JohnnyApocalypse September 18, 2015
Get the Socrates Troll mug.on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Charlie has a waitress crush on the Waitress.
I had a total waitress crush on this girl from high school, until she slept with my best friend.
I had a total waitress crush on this girl from high school, until she slept with my best friend.
by JohnnyApocalypse September 5, 2012
Get the waitress crush mug.Yo Holmes, I found a clue in an old Esplog entry. Excellent, Watson! Now translate it into something we can understand!
by JohnnyApocalypse December 2, 2011
Get the Esplog mug.An expression made famous (and controversial) by Heineken and their openly gay spokesperson, Neil Patrick Harris, which pokes fun at the sanctity of a man's barbecue and (presumably) his heterosexuality.
According to Neil Patrick Harris, Heineken Light "makes it OK to flip another man's meat" to which the griller replies that no man can do that. (Should include syntactical variations of 'Flipping Another Man's Meat'.)
by JohnnyApocalypse October 25, 2016
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