Did you see that? I told Luigi not to slurp his noodles but he just gave himself Spaghetti Whiplash!
by JohnnyApocalypse August 31, 2014

A tasty plant belonging to the family Euphorbiaceae, easily recognized by their red and green foliage and widely used in Christmas floral displays.
by JohnnyApocalypse December 17, 2020

Verbal filler used to finish a sentence when too tired, lazy or drunk to actually assemble words into a complete thought. Ideally, used with the intention that the person you are speaking to is tuned into your train of thought enough that you are understood nonetheless.
by JohnnyApocalypse November 29, 2013

causing johntroversy
The Daily Show with John Stewart tackles controversial issues most "real" news networks would rather just pretend away.
"Um, don't you mean JOHNtroversial issues?"
"Um, don't you mean JOHNtroversial issues?"
by JohnnyApocalypse May 09, 2012

Someone whose questionable actions cause you to learn an important lesson and then they pretend it was their plan to enlighten you all along.
(South Park) While Stan's ploy to distract others from his own dishonesty inadvertently led to people taking up a positive cause, his "that was really my plan all along" attitude cemented his reputation as a Sneaky Butthole.
(Arrested Development) George Senior's use of Sneaky Butthole tactics to teach his children life lessons may have traumatized them, but they sure didn't forget to leave a note on the fridge again. Ever.
(Arrested Development) George Senior's use of Sneaky Butthole tactics to teach his children life lessons may have traumatized them, but they sure didn't forget to leave a note on the fridge again. Ever.
by JohnnyApocalypse August 27, 2013

The apparent difference in the rate of time perceived by someone taking a dump compared to the rest of the world. (For every minute you think you've been sitting on the toilet, 80-100 seconds have actually gone by.) The Turd Law rarely holds up to empirical measurement, and is therefore considered by the scientific community to be a big load of crap.
Boss: "If you weren't in there droppin' a deuce for so long you might be done your work by now."
Me: "I was in there for five minutes. Six tops."
Boss: "More like 15 or 20…"
Me: "Well I'll be damned. I just proved the Turd Law of Relativity."
Me: "I was in there for five minutes. Six tops."
Boss: "More like 15 or 20…"
Me: "Well I'll be damned. I just proved the Turd Law of Relativity."
by JohnnyApocalypse October 23, 2013

A game of chance one plays alone, or in a group. First one to shart, loses. Traditionnally, one finds themself embroiled in a game of Fart, Fart, Shart after dining on Chipotle or similar faire.
by JohnnyApocalypse November 09, 2016
