A person that is fully clothed, sits on any pie.(Boston cream pie, peach, Apple, and cherry). A costume is often involved. Variations include crybaby squat cobbler where the said person is crying, or also known as Boston cream splat east of the Rockies.
Hey jack let's make a squat cobbler video.
Hey Jim can I buy some pies for my squat cobbler group tonight.
Hey Jim can I buy some pies for my squat cobbler group tonight.
by Agggg33 September 3, 2016

As featured on "Better Call Saul", Season 2, episode 2, "Cobbler", the act of sitting bare assed in a cream pie and wiggling your butt around in it. Considered a sexual fetish by some.
Erik was paid $500 for each video he made of him performing a squat cobbler. Chocolate cream was said to be the favorite.
by BootyToSpare August 22, 2016

A worthless talentless individual, bereft of taste and style; most probably hanging out for a crack at the younget member of the household.
by peter james woods July 20, 2009

"He's a squat cobbler!"
Squat cobbler??
"Yeah, he films himself sitting in pies. squat cobbler. Apple, peach, key lime pie, whatever man. He's a squat cobbler."
Squat cobbler??
"Yeah, he films himself sitting in pies. squat cobbler. Apple, peach, key lime pie, whatever man. He's a squat cobbler."
by thewarrior1986 September 3, 2016

by Sdab September 2, 2016

An "art" that involves the act of squatting in a pie, rubbing your ass cheeks in it and recording it as a fetish video . Mentioned in AMC's Better Call Saul.
by straight_busta August 31, 2016

The Dirty Cobbler is a three part culinary experience. Part one (the crumble): The base of the cobbler must be constructed, this may involve a number of techniques dependent on resources available. A female base, requires the base individual to refrain from washing her vagina for 3-5 days in order to build a healthy yet fresh crust, that can be crumbled using fingers – dependent on taste. A male base, involves intentionally reducing effort in wiping one’s anus (2-4 days) in order to leave winnets, these can be hardened in direct contact with sun light – dependent on taste. If time constraints prevail both genders may choose the short option of placing a digestive biscuit (cookie) into a plastic bag and crumbling by hitting it with a rolling pin, penis or penises, before placing this in the orifice of your choice.
Part two (the fruit sauce), the other person must eat 300g of Peaches, Pineapple, or Mango 6-8 hours before, then proceed to ejaculate onto the pre-made cobbler base.
Part Three (dining), The completed cobbler is then eaten by the ejaculator, spoon fed to the base individual, or consumed by an interested third party.
Part two (the fruit sauce), the other person must eat 300g of Peaches, Pineapple, or Mango 6-8 hours before, then proceed to ejaculate onto the pre-made cobbler base.
Part Three (dining), The completed cobbler is then eaten by the ejaculator, spoon fed to the base individual, or consumed by an interested third party.
Darling, shall we make a dirty cobbler when the Browns come for dinner this Friday?
Yes what a lovely idea, would you prefer a natural or biscuit base?
Yes what a lovely idea, would you prefer a natural or biscuit base?
by Spit, Helmet Madness & Banana July 4, 2015
