Carpin Denium

There is a fish in my pants.

That man is so amazing, he is uber smart, good looking, cool and perhaps the most modest person ever! Hung like Einstein and smart as a horse. I am so hot for carpin denium.

by nonofyabisnes June 15, 2010

Carpet Surfing

car·pet surf·ing

verb

ˈkärpit-sərfiNG/

:The act of vigoursly searching, scavenging, and/or unearthing one's carpet in hopes of finding something of profound interest; usually followed by the immediate consumption of said interest:

These interests can include, but are not limited to: candy, cookies, various other foods, and drugs

Person A: "Oh no! I dropped all this "candy" on the floor. What are we gonna do?"

Person B: "I hope you brought your surfboard bro. Cause, we're going carpet surfing!"

by Shaving Ryan's Privates February 16, 2014

do the curtains match the carpet

A question you would ask someone to find out if their pubic hair matches the hair on their head.... without it being to obvious that you want to know.

"Not to be weird, but do the curtains match the carpet?"

by Urbandefiner.com February 13, 2017

Carpet Sharking

when you are a crack and/or meth head and you look all over the ground (that you put your hard drugs on or near), all over the carpet, and desks, tables, etc., and you are desperately looking for any little piece of the drug to snort or smoke, cause you're a tweaker, and you need the drugs so bad. this is also called tweaking. the person has to be real serious about it, his head real close to the ground scanning it like he's a Terminator idenifying objects. and it looks real sad to the observer, cause the person is acting crazy.

"fernando, what are you doing?"
fernando: "shuddup fool, shuddup. there's still a few pieces/some shit around here." *is looking super close to the table and around the carpet*
"dude, you've been doing that for like an hour now. let's go."
"(we'll go in) just a sec."
*30 minutes pass*
"what the fuck fernando, let's go"
*grabs fernando and pulls him out of the room*
*later on telling another friend what fernando was doing and why it took so long to meet him*
"fernando was carpet sharking(/tweaking) again."

by Crank the Klown September 22, 2008

Carpet Shaving

The act of using an electric razor/beard trimmer to remove wax from carpet.

Important Note: Shag carpet only!

Corey: Oops I just spilled hot wax on the carpet!!
Brian: Let's shave it.
Adam: Yeah, that's what I call some serious Carpet Shaving.

by Carpetshaver7 November 29, 2009

Carpenters Cut

When stuck on a building site with no toilet paper someone who needs to pass solids could use the carpenters cut. It is a process of spreading your ass cheeks wide and then letting them go back together as the solid is passed. Thus creating a carpenters cut and removing the need of toilet paper.

Carl "I have no toilet paper and need to go number two to relieve myself. I am in a silight situation what ever could I do"

Stephen "But Carl you can use the carpenters cut and forget the toilet paper"

by Paul131279 February 22, 2007

carpetuation

occurs when vacuuming. the act of running the vacuum over the same suction resistant body over and over, picking it up and looking at it, then putting it back down and trying to suck it up again.

Timmy furiously vacuumed over the paper clip trapped in the carpet. Unsuccessfully, he picked it up and stared at it, then he put it back on the carpet and sucked it up. Timmy is a victim of CARPETUATION.

by graceatzero April 12, 2008