Emergency Dick

Dick you only use for when your going thru a dry spell. someone you wouldnt have sex with on if you wernt desperate.

Eww, god no i dont wanna have sex with him, thats Emergency Dick right there and this isnt an emergency.

by Dustycoby June 20, 2011

emergency stop

When a man is standing taking a whiz, and has to clamp down and stop peeing because he feels a turd about to slip out. Women don't have to worry about this.

Ted's 4-burrito lunch kept trying to escape, forcing him to perform an emergency stop several times while attempting to use the urinal.

by Happy Rasta August 20, 2011

emergency nine

An ad hoc extra nine holes of golf played following a scheduled round necessitated by an untoward loss of funds during the scheduled round.

C'mon Hoss, we need to get in an emergency nine--Cueball wiped me out in the Calcutta this morning and I need to win some of it back.

by Webturtle April 15, 2009

Emergen-C

a substance of pfizzy vitamins and minerals that cost very little and is worthless in all aspects. NOT something to steal. But the powerbar definitely makes it okay.

Beau is a pfucking pfool pfor trying to steal Emergen-C pfrom QpFC.

by Pfucking Pfunny Ass's October 1, 2006

Emergency Pants

A pair of loose-fitting trousers, typically with a draw-string and brown in colour. Usually used before or immediately after a big meal to allow for bloating, or to avoid damage to your other clothes during a case of the squits.

The pizza was of Roman proportions, but luckily I was wearing my emergency pants

I was so ill I shat myself, thank goodness for my emergency pants!

by Mr Spanky Pants August 7, 2006

emergency flaps

a stand-by bint for when the missus has put you in the dog-house

pissed off 'er indoors last night, so i'm on the look-out for some emergency flaps

by Jamiehol February 16, 2004

Emergency Meat

Beef jerky/Slim Jim, which can be kept in an office desk drawer indefinitely, until the day when you're just desperate for protein and/or high quantities of sodium.

Two hours till lunch? Throw me over a stick of emergency meat!

by Elaine Urban December 30, 2009