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Disney Channel

The only thing on TV in Hell, mostly reruns with no good humor and it brainwashes little kids so that they have the same crappy sense of humor as the show. They use laughmachines to make kids think something is funny thus developing the bad sense of humor. Also is very effective at killing braincells.

A long time ago it played good shows (chip n' dale rescue rangers, Tale spin, duck tales, and old Disney cartoons) but apparently Satan possed whoever runs Disney Channel and decided to attempt to ruin TV and music.

All stars that are on this channel think they can sing for some reason, such as Hilary Duff, the fat black kid from Cory in the house, Christy Carlson ramaro, Salena Gomez, Hannah Montana, and last and worst the Jonas Brothers

Furthermore, one of the most awful things to be ever called a movie, High School Musical is the sinful spawn of this channel. Had the disastrous result of launching Zac effron and Vanessa Hudgens (add both to list of crappy singers) to fame

This Channel tries to hide it but it has launched the careers of basic whores such as Britney Spears and the porn star known as Vanessa Hudgens (she sent naked pictures of herself to Drake Bell and Disney slapped her on the wrist)

The only thing kids from 7-14 (esp girls) watch and would probably do anything the channel tells them to do
Satan: Disney Channel is working marveoulously in destroying music and the sense of humor, soon the world population of young children will be mine!

Smart person: Do not watch Disney channel it will fuck you up if you are to young to see how terrible and evil it is

Little Kid: I love Disney Channel!! HA HA HA HA, YEAH ME !!!!! that is so FUNNY!

Person: What is that crap on the radio
Person 2: its those damn disney channel stars that think they can sing
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Disney Channel

1. What used to be a great channel, with shows like Kim Possible, House of Mouse, Recess, and Doug. It wasn't long until these shows ended up getting shit-cancelled and now we're stuck with mind-numbing crap such as Austin & Allie, Dog With a Blog, and A.N.T. Farm.

2. The only two good shows nowadays on Disney Channel are Gravity Falls and Wander over Yonder, which both ended up getting ass-hauled to Disney XD, something I don't have and don't care to waste my money on. Let's see how long it'll take before Disney Channel screws themselves up even more.
Some random friend: Hey, have you seen that new Disney show Wander over Yonder?

Me: Yeah, it's one of my favorites shows on Disney Channel along with Gravity Falls. Problem is both of those shows got moved to Disney XD, a channel which I don't have.

Why must everyone at Disney be such a douchebag?

Disney Channel Singer Syndrome 

When Disney tries to make an actor from one of their TV shows a popular singer by drowning their voice in autotune and giving them stupidly simple, generic lyrics to sing backed by forgettable, horrible instrumentals. Most of the time these efforts fail spectacularly and the victims are dumped by the company shortly after. Notable victims include Ross Lynch, Chyna Anne McClain, and Zendaya. The only survivor: Selena Gomez, who has had 11 top 40 hits, 5 of them hitting the top 10. Unfortunately, most of these songs suck.
Girl 1: "Have you heard Bella Thorne's new single, 'TTYLXOX'?

Girl 2: "No way, she suffers from Disney Channel Singer Syndrome."

Disney Channel

The crappiest channel out there. Was supposed to be about classic Disney cartoons but instead started making all these crappy shows about teenagers with some retarded plot and slapping the Disney label on them so parents will let their kids watch.

And of course the only kids that watch that shit are eleven-year-old girls who try to act like they're sixteen. Of course all the characters on every single one of their shows is a teenager, just so 11-year-olds everywhere can watch and say, "I watch Lizzie McGuire and Hannah Montana and That's So Raven on the Disney Channel, so that makes me grown-up!" Every show on that channel is geared towards eleven-and-under-year-old kids but try to make it look like they're geared towards older kids.

Let me also say that the actors and actresses CANNOT ACT, yet they are possibly the biggest stars in Hollywood right now. Why, you might ask? Because of the gullible eleven-year-old girls who tune in every night to watch because it makes them feel older.
"On an all-new Hannah Montana, Miley's dad gives her a brand-new credit card! But OF COURSE she goes overboard shopping! What's a tween to do?!"

"Dude, if I have to hear my little sister sing that Hannah Montana shit one more time, I swear I'm gonna BLOW MY FUCKING BRAINS OUT!!!"

"Disney Channel Writer #1: "You know, I feel like even though we've already got Lizzie McGuire, Phil of the Future, the Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Kim Possible, and That's So Raven, we STILL don't have enough teen shows!!"

Disney Channel Writer #2: "I KNOW! Let's make a TV show about a tween (excuse me, teen) who is a regular girl during the day but--bear with me on this--is a POP STAR AT NIGHT!!!!!!!"

Disney Channel Writer #1: "OH MY GOD! I'm really glad you remembered our rule--EVERY central character on EVERY Disney Channel show HAS to be a teenage girl! I'm so proud of you for remembering! This is such a great idea!"

disney wang 

A penis by a Young child or teenager who watch's the diseny channel
Davedays and Bahlahlah have disney wang's
disney wang by What_now June 24, 2008

disney channel

A great channel BEFORE IT GOT CONTAMINATED AND DESTROYED BY THE NEW STUPID TV SHOWS ETC: Thats So Raven, Hannah Montana, Cory In The House.... WTF!!! Disney is suppose to be about quality animated movies and shows in the good old days, Now they are getting greedy and just making bullshitty movies to earn money. The actors and actresses pretend to like their fans when in fact they don't give a shit and want to make $$$$$$$$. They dont show a single non disney commercial, wth is up with that you cant be that greedy.....
Person 1: I use to love Disney when I was a kid but now it just sucks with all the "actors and actresses" who have no skill.
Person 2: What about ZAC EFRON!!!!
Person 1: Are you shitting me????
Message: Don't watch disney, its not really worth your time, your better off hanging off with real friends and doing realistic things rather than thinking about other peoples impossible lives(etc living in the white house, being a pop star yet a student.... Come on that's not possible seriously...)
Disney channel sucks now don't waste your time. period end of discussion
disney channel by abby3145135135 September 7, 2007

Disney bought Marvel 

Proof of the impending apocalypse that will eradicate all existence on Earth.
Guy 1: Holy crap Disney bought marvel
Guy 2: What the'll ruin it like they did to Mickey Mouse and Miley Cyrus's relationship with her dad!
Guy 1: ITS THE END OF THE WORLD QUICK CALL CNN WARN EVERYONE!!!!!!