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Shit Test

The way a woman determines whether or not the man makes the cut. A psychological dig or jab. Can be conscious or unconscious. The superficial goal is to get the man triggered. The underlying objective is to see him win, either by showing conviction or apathy to her cute little game. The frequency and consistency of his passing will be inversely related to her frequency of shit testing him.

Simps and incels will dismiss a woman’s shit tests as senseless, sadistic female antics meant to torture men. This victimhood mentality is why they will remain childless and jerking off to rape porn for the rest of their lives.

Shit tests are an evolutionary trait. Passing shit tests is the true measure of masculinity. This is why there are sometimes “ugly” dudes with 9s and 10s. This guy may not be Michael B. Jordan or Brad Pitt. But he maintains Zaddy status by wearing the pants in the relationship. He’s direct, decisive, honest, and uncompromising. He’s indifferent to her emotional outbursts. He can make her laugh. He can make her cry. He can make her cum til she’s quivering and cross-eyed.

Shit testing is nature’s beautiful way of smoothing out a man’s rough edges. Passing confirms to the woman that she’s with a real man. Failing continuously confirms he’s a weak bitch not worth her time. The former breeds trust, the latter doubt. It’s all on him to keep the polarity. With strong polarity comes strong attraction. More fun. More laughs. More hot, steamy, sweaty, dripping sex.
“What y’all doin Friday? Me and Aubrie found this dope joint…cheap ass drinks and shrimp tacos are fireee”

“Idk bro. We ain’t talk since Saturday. Kinda goin thru it”

“Why what happened?”

“Man we was at her crib Saturday watching a movie. Out of nowhere she tells me some dude at work asked for her number. And she fuckin gave it to his bitch ass! So I fuckin got up n left. Like wtf wrong wit dis bitch??”

“Bruh you need to chill. Clearly that was a shit test. Y’all engaged ffs. Just ride it out a couple more days. She’ll come around”
by NggaDicChnk August 13, 2024
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wrist test

A test where in you have a woman place her breasts on your forearm. If the breasts extend/fold over your forearm, she is said to "pass". A gauge for the breast lover.
My ex-girlfriend got way too big, but the sex was good and she had no problem passing the Wrist Test!
by Chucks Pickle February 19, 2024
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Empyrian Test

Verb:To test the limits of a game both mechanically and visually through creative and absurd combinations of game elements.
A: We need to run more through testing to ensure the game wil not crash on launch.
B: Have you done the Empyrian test?
by Ghrelin February 24, 2024
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pierce test

A secondary Review of a friend’s potential dating partner by an unbiased source.
Hey did she pass the Pierce test?
by 2dicksandalie March 7, 2024
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Blooben Test

A test to quantify the blobness of an object and/or creature. If the blob status of the object is rated 5/10 or higher, it passes the blooben test.
by GoodOlKappaTea March 8, 2024
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Blooben Test

A meaningless yes or no test designed for confusion
Have you completed the base Blooben Test
What in the world is a Blooben Test
by Okbamtheman March 8, 2024
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feel test

The test a woman or man gives a new guy to see how much dick they are packing before you decide to give them a chance to fuck. To conduct the test, you have to feel the man’s dick through his pants and get it hard so you can then measure it via how much of your hand it takes up.
I did a feel test on the new dude I’m talking to the and he’s got enough dick for me to fuck him.
by PrincessofBwoodNY March 20, 2024
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