Can't light a birthday candle with a blowtorch

Idiom. Used to describe a person's lack of intelligence or inability to perform/achieve a simple task.

Is it any surprise how badly he did? That idiot can't light a birthday candle with a blowtorch.

by Catfish Baruni June 16, 2016

john travolta's birthday

Celebrating "John Travolta's Birthday" refers to any time you party too hard the night before you're supposed to be somewhere or do something important... thereby making that task much more difficult with a big hangover.

I would have been in much better shape for my hockey game today if I wasn't out celebrating John Travolta's Birthday last night.

by Stormchild72 December 26, 2016

candles on a birthday cake

The number candles on a birthday cake tell what age you are. Not what year it is.

Candles on a birthday cake tell your age not the year you dumbass.

by Jacklolololololo November 22, 2017

the pimps birthday

One of several days of the year noted primarily by the birth of a major player or pump. Not to be confused with the Pope's birthday. These days are cause for celebration for most Protestants. Most notable of these days is January 16.

Wassup boo? I'ma throw down like it's the pimps birthday!! We all gon' be Joshin!

by Scorchedpork January 16, 2018

homozygous recessive birthday bash smash

Matt’s signature move on Sundays with Allie.

“Hey Allie get ready because I’m about to homozygous recessive birthday bash smash you!”

by Allie Lovr May 16, 2018

Ur aunt Bertha likes my girther

Better than all the “ur” jokes before it, the epitome of mankind’s insults . Beats even the infamous “ur family tree LGBT” and “ur brother mother”.

Shane : ur mum gay
*pause and gasp from friends*
Chad: ur aunt Bertha likes my girther

*stalin comes back from the dead, hitler decides not to invade Poland , Shane is vitrified by Gordon Ramsay’s godlike cumshot and breaks into infinite pieces*

by LORDBACON88 May 16, 2018

Red Neck Birth Control

A form of contraception using any strong household cleaners and chemicals in general with a funnel and vaginal cavity.

"You'll need that red neck birth control if you don't cum in the bum."

Synonym:Cactus or that weird thing behind my bed in 3rd grade, I mean was it a Lego covered in fuzz? I don't know man I'm no expert..

by Jack Gomez November 20, 2018