On the hand pump

The act of frantically pleasuring oneself whilst alone.

Oh my lord! I walked in Andrews bedroom yesterday and I caught him on the hand pump. Whilst watching the free 10 minutes on television X

The dirty little swine he needs to meet a woman.

by [e-mail] December 29, 2016

Sandy hand.

A complete utter fail at an attempt to give a handjob.

Also known as salty hand.

Chuck:Dude,did Stephanie give you that handjob she was promising?

Bill:Yeah man, but she had a terrible case of the sandy hand.

by G-Swizzy Gets Busy June 16, 2010

Hand Tool

A person who is a tool but is generally a substandard one. Similar to the concept of a gump.

That guy is such a hand tool.

by Naked Penguin March 30, 2010

urine hand

When a person pisses in their hand during masturbation to increase the friction of the rubbing. (Salt in the urine creates more friction.)

Rubbing my dick dry wasn't working, had to give myself the urine hand.

by Shaymus99 August 10, 2021

Walmart hands

That disgusting grimy feeling on your hands from shopping from touching dusty and germy products.

Usually in stores like Walmart where people (mostly children) stick their gross fingers on everything, and layers of dirt and dust cling to everything. Yum!

Mom: Come help me unload these groceries.

Me: Gimme a second, I gotta go wash these gross ass Walmart hands.

by Meow173 March 2, 2014

All-Hands

The worst type of Blowjob out there. Typically given by frigid girls that are grossed out by dick, i.e. closet lesbians"

"Eugene, how was that blowjob from Karen?"
"Shit mate, it was All-Hands"

by DaddyThor May 21, 2020

Hand Jig

Jerking off while singing show tunes.

Jerking another man off while singing show tunes .

" Dude I just gave myself the best Hand Jig ever watching Grease".

" So I walked into the mens restroom at Barnes and Knoble and saw an elderly man giving another elderly man a Hand Jig. He was singing Jailhouse Rock".

by Badilla July 3, 2019