Twilight

The biggest piece of garbage ever written. It is a book in which it's "author" knew nothing about the subject. She had never read or seen anything about vampires. The idea came to her in a dream where she was having a picnic in a field with a sparkling vampire. There are many problems with this.So please if one must try to write please know what the hell you're talking about.
A)Vampires don't sparkle
B)Vampires aren't pussies like Edward
C)Werewolves can't transform in the middle of the day whenever they want
D)Twilight vampires can't be killed by a steak to the heart........... WTF
E)And most importantly VAMPIRES DON'T SPARKLE!!!!!!!!
by Mewes306 April 02, 2010
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Twilight

The twilight series is an excellent example of EPIC FAIL. Stephanie Meyer is just a loser that writes total shite. I read the first book just to see what all the fuss was about and wow. i could not believe how completely terrible it was
it starts with bella, a plain boring whiny biatch. she falls in love (lust actually) with the angsty Douchebag Edward apparently he is gorgeous.surprise?LUST!
more than half of the time it seems that meyer just writes out her arse.
im not on team Jacob or any crap like that but lets address the fact shall we?? Edward is creepy cold fucker who has openly stated that he wants to devour bella like fucking HAPPY MEAL!! okay so it wasnt in those EXACT words but you get it.JACOB on the other hand is apparently sweet, friendly boy who also happens to be LIVING
I fail to see why any smart girl would WANT to be with a boy like Edward. I mean seriously, he sneaks into bella room while she sleep and just watches her(how fucking creepy is that! very!) hes abusive, he has the intellect of a retarded pigeon, and hes a total douche. Bella is basically just promoting the idea that women cant think for themselves and that without men they are nothing.
um lets see now, they have reflections and THEY DONT DIE IN SUNLIGHT THEY JUST SPARKLE?!! WTF?!?
Stephanie Meyers is a disgrace to the name Stephanie GDI
TEAM NOSFERATU FOR THE WIN!!
oh and one more thought, if edward has no liquids in him how the f*ck did he get bella pregnant??
Me: Hi im Stephanie :)

Twilight fanfreak:OMGAWD, JUST LIKE STEPHANIE MEYER!! YOU HAVE HER NAME!! AND EDWARD IS SO SEXY!!

Me: No. NOT like her. its MY name GFDI. STFU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by Stephie :) November 21, 2009
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Twilight

When you convince a girl to leave her family and run away with you on a road trip. After slumming around with her in sleazy motels that you never pay for, you finally rape, murder and drink all of her blood.
I was bored this summer so I decided to pull a twilight. (Sigh) I kinda' miss Megan though.
by J.N. Growling June 25, 2010
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Twilight

A story written by Stephanie Meyers that would have similar plot elements to a story about a man falling in love with a ham sandwich.
Twilight is like a man falling in love with a ham sandwich.
by Haywood Jabloemi December 19, 2009
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Twilight

The biggest mistake in the history of literature. Doesn't even classify as literature. It is one of the worst mistakes that mankind has ever made. It's up there with the Holocaust and President Bush.
I had to do a book report, and I chose Twilight. It probably would've been a better choice to do a book report on fresh dog shit.
by The Uber Fat January 27, 2010
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Twilight

A book that raises the bars of women and gets men laid less.
"My girlfriend said she wouldn't blow me unless I acted more like Edward from Twilight."
by Nicky M. January 07, 2009
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Twilight

A book writen by Stephanie Meyer and obsessed over by crazed fans.

Personally, I adore the series. Or... I did. Once EVERYONE started reading it and obsessing over it, it became incredibly overrated and annoying.
The obsession over the character Edward Cullen is simply uncalled for. HE IS NOT REAL, PEOPLE. No man out there is going to live up to him. I apologize.

Now that I think about it, every book in the series is very cliche. Maybe that's what makes 'non-readers' read it. It's something they're used to; something they've heard of.
Yes, I have read Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn twice each, but I read many other books as well.
The fanatics over these books ONLY read these books. Tisk, tisk. You live in a fantasy world.
My favorite character has ALWAYS been Alice Cullen. In my opinion, she is the best character in the book. Period.
Example 1:

Crazy fan: "Ohmygod! I am going to marry Edward Cullen!"
Normal Person: "No you're not. He doesn't exist."
Crazy fan: "HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT!"
Normal Person: "The truth hurts...?"

Example 2:

Fan: "Edward Cullen is the most beautiful man to ever exist."
Normal Person: "Correction: Edward Cullen is ONE of the most beautifully described CHARACTERS to ever be read about."
Fan: "........"

Example 3:

Fan: "Team Edward! Yeah!"
Normal Person: "Team Me! Yeah!"
Fan: "You're weird..."
Normal Person: "You're delusional and obsessed."

Example 4:

Fan: "Twilight is the BEST BOOK EVER!!"
Normal Person: "...That's only because it's the only book you've ever read."
by Ladidaopa! February 27, 2009
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