A comedian who happened to be the funniest person ever to walk the earth. Died earlier this year...and the world has been unfunny ever since. He was about to to a special on HBO that would have been fuckin' awesome...but now...it will never happen. Go figure...everyone who ever does something good for the world dies before they hit 30.
by Sgt. Pepper May 11, 2005
So, I sit at the hotel at night and I think of something that's funny. Or, If the pen is too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of wasn't funny
by Mitch April 01, 2005
Your boss who controls remotely and capriciously your income, career, and future. From David Mamet's play Glengarry Glenn Ross.
by Big Steve April 28, 2006
by Mike bitch October 17, 2009
A flawless bitch queen 👸🏻
by PTX_is_my life January 25, 2017
"Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupus... one of those two doesn't sound right."--Mitch Hedberg
by nirvana563 May 07, 2005
A comedian with the most off beat, hilarious sense of humour ever heard to man. Created a cult-like following of loyal subjects that wish they were half as funny as his dog. Tragically, Mitch departed this world in late March 2005, leaving us only with fond memories and this lesson learned:
1. Everyone worth anything is on drugs
2. Drugs kill people
3. Everyone worth anything dies
1. Everyone worth anything is on drugs
2. Drugs kill people
3. Everyone worth anything dies
"I was sitting at a bar, and no one was talking to me cuz I had just did a show *Crowd laughs*, and this guy bumped into me, and he didn't apologize, he just said, 'Move!' which I thought was rude, so I said, 'Go to hell,' and then I started to run. He caught up with me. He had a moustache, a goatee, earrings, a pair of sunglasses, his hair was in a pony tail, and he was wearing a hat. He said, 'Hey! You got a lot of nerve!' I said, 'Hey, you've got a lot of............cranium accesories!" *Everyone laughs. Mitch laughs* Ha, this a smart crowd. When I play the dumb crowds I have to say, 'You've got a lot of shit on your head!'"
by Peasento May 05, 2005