Mattress

A simile that can be used in comparisson to almost any situation, object, person or emotion.

Jordan: "That bitch is really, really weird.."
Sam: "That's because she's pissed as a mattress"

Josh: "I lost all my money in the stock-market yesterday.."
Matt: "Damn, you must be shattered as a mattress"

Nic: "I got a E- in my R.E exam.."
Sean: "You must be stupid as a mattress"

by SamFisher440 January 3, 2010

MATTRESS MUNCHER

a nancy boy or queer; a member of the "homogenized persuasion," an unadulterated, unmitigated, bred-in-the-bone, dyed-in-the wool, etched-in-stone
cruiser on the chocolate freeway.

Greenwich Village is the official "faggot capital of the world," so I am told, and features a plethora of mattress-munching cackpipe cosmonauts!

by weave September 7, 2003

with a mattress in the back

a way to spice up any sentence in a way that even "your mom", "that's what she said", or "in your granny's oven" can not achieve; from the hit movie edward scissorhands.

Bob: I did some gardening today.
Fred: ...WITH A MATTRESS IN THE BACK!

by Nellie Lovett May 3, 2008

Mattress Tag

A slang term for fucking

So you and Heidi played some mattress tag?

by Toketo December 19, 2008

knocking shop mattress

An effect of male pattern baldness,whereby the unfortunate male decides not to do the decent thing ie get the clippers out and grows the floundering folicles hoping to conceal the onset of nature by creative combing,suceeding only in an elaborate , threadbare shaping with a shiney(often sunburnt)beacon of scalp shining through for all to see.Resembling the aformentioned sex workers overused mattress.See Robin Gibb,Footballer Kenny Cunningham etc

See that Alan Shearer on Match of the Day,he's got a head like a knocking shop mattress,though his muscular pressence up front,will be sorely missed by Newcastle this season.

by chris ord August 31, 2006

Punk Matress

A punk rock girl who gets wasted or high all the time and lets anyone or anybody fuck her

shes a punk matress i passed out next to her and when i woke up i fucked her

by Grimm Gutterslut June 24, 2009

set up the air mattress

When you run upstairs and have lightning fast sex with your boyfriend while the houseguest uses the bathroom.

Houseguest: "where are you guys?"

Boyfriend: "just setting up your air mattress!"

Hurry up, let's go set up the air mattress - we only have 4 minutes!

by odie74 June 28, 2017