Armchair Guru

A close relative to the FIGJAM stereotype (“F***, I’m good. Just ask me.”) but this slouch of a human is a recluse, often with potato chip crumbs sprinkled on his pudgy belly. The Armchair Guru won’t choose to dominate conversation by interrupting or speaking over others, instead he will both glorify the profundity of his experiences whilst simultaneously actively discrediting anyone else who he recognizes as a threat to his intellectual cachet in the hierarchical order.
His professed knowledge rests solely on anecdotal evidence with a paltry stockpile of half-finished trinkets that are mounted as a stately exhibit of “Yeah, As you can see it’s pretty impressive but it’s nowhere near as epic as the collection I put together at my last place.”
The Armchair Guru is a toddler with tall tales that are now taken on their word because he has grown a beard.

I went to Dave’s place to collect the 300 bucks he owes me and this armchair guru reframed the situation into a lecture about how I was acting in my own self interest when I decided to lend him the money. It was made all the more insulting as I could see the bowl of green that he was choofing down was well in excess of what he owed me. So not only did I not get a cent off him, I had to listen to his “Sheeple” this and “Government” that, for like two hours before I realized I was wasting my time by being there.

by FredFredricks January 5, 2025

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bidness guru

a person who is in reality super lazy and does nothing productive in life but acts like the busiest person in the world grinding it out to make it and putting other hard working people down at the same time

mr. eisenberg is the original bidness guru making $50 billion a year

by dustinmc September 21, 2025

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Guru

Guru the great dick sucker in the world... He loves to suck every dicks in the world, he even sucks his own dick.

Hey that guy guru he sucked my dick yesterday.... OMG what!!! can you able to see a white fluid on his mouth.. hehe its my cum... I cummed hard on his mouth

by epik shit October 31, 2025

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Guru

A handsome boy in your class between 18 to 25 years old. Has the best knowledge in getting the good girls. He constantly receives appraisal from his clients. Funny thing is he is single himself. Gives good advice about life too.

I met Guru last night at the bar downtown, he's hot.

by DemonCrusher06 November 22, 2021

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