Human Roomba

When you put a midget on a skateboard and it slides around on your floor, eating garbage.

"Dude I need to vacuum my house"
"We don't have time for that, just put Mikey on a skateboard and he'll do it for you, he'll be a human roomba"

by Carador July 28, 2012

Human chameleon

A person who alters their personality according to who they are trying to impress or fit in with.

Wow, she's a totally different person when she's around those guys than she is with us. Wonder what her real personality is. She's like a human chameleon.

by Stickin to bein me November 26, 2013

Human Monkey

Someone who acts like a monkey, usually crazy. But around people they trust. They also look like a monkey. And some might even say he/she even laugh like one.

"I can see that Luca is a Human Monkey"

"See? I told you he was!"

by Soccerlover14 July 20, 2016

human dildo

a person, male or female, who is so good at pleasuring his or her partner that they no longer require a dildo or vibrator to pleasure themselves.
Often a borderline nymphomaniac, the human dildo is an exceptional and sought-after lover.
A good human dildo is just happy to be there, selfless, patient, and thorough in his or her ministrations. Usually produces multiple orgasms.

Girl: "oh WOW! Remember that geeky guy I went out with last night? Well, I wasn't really into him until we started fooling around and he ate me out while finger fucking me at the same time! I have never been so turned on in my life, he knew all my pleasure buttons and wouldn't rush things, even when I was begging him for more! Then, he found my G-spot. Oh. My. God. I lost count after the first 20 orgasms! I could barely walk this morning!"

Friend: "LUCKY! You found a human dildo! Keep that one!

by Aphrodisia February 19, 2008

Humans

When God decided to destroy the world.

What better thing to send in than humans?

by Blue Ruse August 8, 2006

human octopus

The entity created by the act of coitus. So named because the resulting entity has eight human appendages.

Dude, I'm totally traumatized. I went over to my parents' house for dinner and I walked in on them making the human octopus.

by JC Not Christ October 17, 2008

Human pet

A human who sees them selves as a pet, Often a loved one such as a significant other being their master. Wears leashes, collars and are lead around by their master on the leash. Can be male or female.

The goth human pet and her fiance were kicked off of a bus because she wore a collar and leash.

by Lusha Drackoness January 11, 2011