the horizontal monster mash

sex with a chick... fucking a chick, banging a chick.. that sort of thing

omfg! Their doing the Horizontal Monster Mash on my leg!!! (WTF?)

by teh_n00berx0r June 12, 2006

Horizontal Bacon Smile

The roughest toughest penis to ever grace the fields of Madagascar. People dropped in fear at the site of the Horizontal Bacon Smile drinking tea or knitting mugs to drink from. He was one bad ass light-skinned lincoln log

hide the perishables here come the horizontal bacon smile

by Miles Labia December 15, 2003

horizontal neck brace

Hold her throat until she looses conscious and it's like being with a dead corpse

I have her the horizontal neck brace last night.

by KatieFlaherty June 13, 2017

Horizontal Japs Eye

An affliction affecting the meatus of ones penis.

A condition wherein as opposed to the usual vertically oriented 'Japs Eye', it has been rotated by 90 or 270 degrees and now lies horizontally.

See medical condition Oculi Horizontalis.

Oh My! His banjo string comes off at the side?!" "Don't worry, he's just got one of them horizontal japs eyes.

by drpenisintrigue March 27, 2011

horizontal crab nigga

a black guy lying on the floor in handcuffs

''what is that''
''that is a horizontal crab nigga m'lord''
-my uncle

by whiteboyshit August 31, 2014

horizontal patty melt

it's when you order fish sandwich from McDonald's with extra tarter sauce then you go home put it between your mattress and have sex with it until you cum then eat it afterwards

Hey Brad I tried the horizontal patty melt last night it was great

by Detestedanimal July 18, 2017

horizontal safety dance

The act of banging a dame to with a condom, snickers wrapper, or any kind of protection.

I banged cindy last night, but we had to horizontal safety dance cause she done got that herp.

by pack-a-punch a pack-a-punch April 16, 2011