Jaws-Mode Wank

A niche practice where a man will bite off his own penis for sexual gratification while imagining a drunken Robert Shaw singing.

Sky News now apologising for language in Dominic Cummings message accusing Boris Johnson of 'Jaws-mode wank'

by Humphrey the Cat October 31, 2023

Pokey bum wank

An act of masturbation where you put your legs over your head and poke yourself in the bum

I was going to have a pokey bum wank today but I'm going to Spencer's house

by Pls1234 February 3, 2017

30,000 Feet Wank

To jerk off in the airplanes bathroom, specifically mid flight.

Guy 1: I just did the 30,000 Feet wank
Guy 2: Who are you? Why are you telling me this?

by Whatconstipationlookslike October 30, 2020

Shitty Wank Demon

A weird Youtube creature that stalks through Youtube looking for the next victim. May or may not have a virus in the video, but is otherwise harmless.
The video is of a claymation guy pooping and then blowing his load on his feces, and a rabbit humanoid creature pops out and gives him 3 wishes. The guy wishes for a castle and one appears but it's made of poop and cum. Then he asks for a boat and a boat made of poop appears, and then he asks to go home and is teleported to a world made of poop and wank.
Another video has a person (maybe the same dude from the first) doing the same as before but in a toilet, so the shitty wank demon's wife appears and throws poop like a chimp.

Don't go to the Shitty Wank Demon's world, it is made of raw sewage.

by happyatcommonsense March 26, 2019

Wanked all over

Occurs mainly whilst playing any form of game or even if you feel like it in everyday life

I was playing a game of FIFA and I wanked all over some nit but he got the win

You better fuck off before I wank all over you
I was playing chess and I got that motherfucker in checkmate needless to say he was about to be wanked all over

by torkyj February 3, 2020

yank my wank

To masturbate

1. You almost done?
2. Yeah, but first i gotta yank my wank

by Golf swinger on the daily December 15, 2016

Isaac Newton Wank

The act of wanking upside down for the objective of giving yourself a facial. The jizz acts like the Apple falling from the tree, gravity takes it course and hits the participant in the cranial area.

I had an Isaac Newton wank last night, glazed myself like a doughnut

by McLoopster August 20, 2018