Jared

Slang for a child molester. Came from Jared Fogle, that subway guy who ended up being a pedophile.
"Hey man, did you hear about that dude?"
"Yeah dude, he was a Jared."
by georgiasmalls January 10, 2016
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Jared

Jared from Salinas California
by Kalaokalani April 26, 2008
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Jared

A man or woman (no one really knows) whose hair smells of shit. He/She is very short and tends to have a high pitched voice. Jared sucks at sports so he/she resorts to drama. Jared sits at home all day and reads because he/she has no life.
Guy: Did you see that jared over there?
Other Guy: Yeah what a faggot. I hate him!
by WienerMaster3000 August 16, 2010
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jared

(verb) the swift concentrated motion of any elongated object back and forth, in and out of the mouth. While jareding, the person tends to use the hands, with the assistance of saliva, in order to keep a steady pace and safe motion going. Jareding is commonly brought up in gay men, due to their tendencies to suck on each others penis's.
Mr. O'Brien bragged openly: "I jared the best, and I hate leaving messes! I always make sure to finish it off"
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Jared

Jared; or one who plans poorly or has poor planning. Jared could also be described as ; (fake as fuck) or ; capable of doing things that could be described as huge
Hey man did you hear Jared planned that big thing then bailed. That was HUGE... What a bailmaster!
by Funktastic611 September 04, 2016
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Jared

A real dick who abuses women physically and mentally. He also tells you to make him cum and he cums on FaceTime. Nice and shy in the beginning but makes you feel like a bitch In the end.
by Bitch___ January 08, 2018
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Jared

Jared is the name for the dingle berries that hang on butt hair
I have a Jared hanging from my butt
by Chad mann January 16, 2010
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