schlong-goggles

Much the same as beer goggles, though no alcohol is required; i.e the man's schlong makes a terrible, terrible decision about a girl best left alone. The brain is hardly involved, if at all.

This may occur after many months of sexual frustration, or simply if he is a slag.

verb; to schlong-goggle

"jesus tom, what were you thinking?"
"i don't know man, i definitely had my schlong-goggles on"

"however hard tom tried, he simply could not remove the schlong-goggles from his eyes"

by rural_dictionater January 12, 2010

Schlong Shot

Like a dick pic only schlonger.

I always have mixed feelings about unsolicested schlong shots. On the one hand, Ew, on the other hand... dayum!

Nick asked me to send nudes last night, but I made him send me a schlong shot first!

by Kinn Notap May 21, 2017

Sausage schlong

The act of taking a condom, pooping inside of it and tying it shut, and then using it for insertive pleasure. Can also be frozen for a harder feel

Melissa told me that she used a sausage schlong last night since her boyfriend is out of town.

by EdgyMeemStar January 22, 2018

Schlong Sack

When your nut sack is longer than your your asshole after Ant Man expanded in it.

I have a schlong sack

by TheCommunistNugget April 25, 2019

schlongness monster

A penis so large, that it is often thought of as a myth. While it exists, few have seen the schlongness monster released.

Sara said that when mike pulled out his penis it was so big, that she thought it was the lochness monster. He shouted, its the schlongness monster, then knocked her in the face with it.

by mexicanmike03 December 10, 2013

Schlong McDong

a massive cock that requires special pants to contain its sheer power and girth

"Ayo you see Tyler over there? He's packin a real schlong mcdong"

by Xeno486 April 20, 2021

Schlong Slap

The act of using your underdeveloped third leg as a lethal weapon and proceeding to begin an extreme killing spree with the force of your massive cock being pounded against another's face.

Hey bro I cant wait to feel your Schlong Slap tonight, it feels so refreshing to have your meat against my forehead.

by schlongmurderer69696 November 10, 2020