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No offense

A warning that someone's about to offend the shit out of you
No offense but your face disgusts me
by Mr fathom July 9, 2018
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Fake Offer

An offer you don't expect someone to accept and you don't want them to, but will deliver on if they accept. Typically, a fake offer is offered for the reason of appearing polite or for the hopes of receiving a real offer in return in the future.
I just fake offered to pick up Josh from the airport. I hope he says no because I don't want to have to get up at 7:00am
by Mr. W0nderful September 15, 2020
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Special offer

“Take a look at that retard over there
“Shh, you’re getting us killed, that’s Dave, he’s a special offer”
by Johnny Tramp November 30, 2020
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Gif Oofers

"Bro, that's a major gif oofers"
by KewlJewl42069 February 6, 2021
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Kermitable Offense

A phrase used between two autistic people to describe when one of them, does something that it blatantly autistic. Can also be referred to as a "Kermit." Things that can be described as a "Kermitable Offense" are dislike of bright lights, flashing lights, sudden loud noises, dislike of textures of food, a dislike of sensations like being wet, slimy, or itchy, or an obsessive knowledge of one very oddly specific topic (ie trains, robots, monsters, anime, etc.)

Origins are from the image of Kermit the Frog and Pepe the Shrimp with the caption: "I'm gonna be real with you chief, you might be autistic."
Person 1: "Hey did you know that there is no exact canonical description of what the map of the Island of Sodor looks like? And that it's different in many continuities?"

Person 2: "Alright, but knowing that is a Kermitable Offense."
by Lucky Once August 21, 2022
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Flaccid Offerings

The frantic mental bartering made by male unable to get hard-on at crucial time; made to the god of erections.
No matter how many Flaccid Offerings I promised, nothing was happening down there, so I just blamed her.
by Urb Snake March 17, 2023
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The Nick Offerman

To have intercourse with a partner( preferably one who is open to your advances) and upon climax, pull out your gun and fire a round laced with double entendre into the nigh sky.
news person: police were called to the scene due to reports of gunfire and screaming. luckily the suspect just pulled The Nick Offerman.
by the dearly ditched October 1, 2014
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