if a frog had wings

This phrase is used to denote the uselessness of the word "if" after the fact. The entire phrase is usually given as "if a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump its ass when it hopped".

From the movie Wayne's World:
Cassandra: Yeah, and if a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump its ass when it hopped.
Wayne: Where exactly did you learn english?
Cassandra: College. And the Police Academy movies.

A modified form appears in the first season of the Drew Carey Show:

Drew: "hey, if a frog had wings... we'd still be screwed, but wouldn't it be cool?"

by MPM68 March 31, 2007

If you will

1. An phrase overused by those trying to sound sophisticated and/or intelligent.

2. A phrase used frequently by Tobias Bluth from Arrested Development.

Tobias: You could say I'm, if you will, 'buy curious'

Man: I can "sprinkle the pudding" if you will.

by Antonym Phantonym May 18, 2009

if you know what i mean

Added to the end of a sentence to make it sound dirty ... hinting towards a possible sexual meaning.

John - Dude you got an A in calculus!!!
Mike - Yeah its the result of some one on one tutoring with Ms Claudia if you know what I mean

by asawer March 11, 2005

If she smokes...she pokes

1. Phrase used to personify either attractive, or unattractive females who smoke cigarettes.
a. It is a proven fact that women who partake in the indulgences of tobacco products will most likely do the same with sexual intercourse.
b. Women who do not smoke are more likely to not have as many sexual encounters as those who do smoke.

Biggs: Hey look over your left shoulder at that chick in the red.
Barker: (looks) Yeah man-- go say what's up.
Biggs: Hell yeah man, she's lighting up?
Barker: Are you into smokers now?
Biggs: Nah man, if she smokes...she pokes.

by heybarker October 16, 2008

if you're nasty

Once someone gives you a name and says this phrase after it, that's how you know what name to call them when you're bent over in your tighty-whiteys getting cracked by a whip while she's in leather and you've got a gag in my mouth

"It's Janet... Miss Jackson if you're nasty"

by Janet Rocks July 25, 2009

If you know, you know

The defining phrase of an inside joke/access to information only a select few know about

You see your mate's laptop screen saver is a naked girl, but her face is covered , you know who it is, but others don't- you post it on your snapchat and put "....'s screensaver, if you know, you know"

by Resting peace October 11, 2015

if you give a mouse a cookie

This is a term used to refer to people who push themselves into your house as soon as you let them put their put in the door. Metaphorically speaking. If you give someone an edge of hope or anything, they will try to take advantage of that and get more.

Sally: Ugh...so my prom date wants to take me out on a date. Like more than friends.

Brenda: Well, if you give a mouse a cookie...

by Wise Gal March 27, 2012