hemorrhoid tourniquet

Hemorrhoid tourniquet: trying on thong underwear and getting your hemorrhoids caught in the floss when you pull them off.

During some man-talk over beers, one of the guys explained how he tried on his girlfriend's thong during a hemorrhoid flare-up and it got really squeezed as he took them off. His beer buddy didn't miss a beat as he explained "No Pain, No Gain" and confirmed that hemorrhoid tourniquets like that were coming into vogue at old man frat parties.

by benighse November 22, 2009

hemoshefean

(he-moe- she- fe-in) a person that is hard to tell if they are male or female

damn did you see that hemoshefean walking down the road

by snake 442 September 3, 2010

Hemorrhoid Police

An over the top, overly aggressive, politically correct in every which way conceivable Human Resources Department that snuffs the heart and soul out of a company.

Bob - Crap, I'm being summoned by the Hemorrhoid Police...

Peter - What'd ya do?

Bob - Ya know that joke the other day about Romney and his magic underwear that showed up in my eMail? Someone looked at it over my shoulder then ratted me out to HR...

by bullharbour November 10, 2012

Hemoqueef

Vaginal blood fart

He's more than a douche - he's a hemoqueef.

I went down on my girlfriend, and she surprised me with a hemoqueef.

by suchatnoir January 29, 2014

Hemo-Blowin

Sucking a bloody cock. cock suck blood pussy ass dickoral

After fucking someone who's bleeding you pull out your bloody cock and they stuck it, hence giving someone a Hemo-Blowing

by Junk Johnstone April 27, 2017

Hemoglobin Semen Coat

The result of having sex with a woman on her period.

Damn, I wanted to fuck my wife last night but she was on her period. Wasn’t on the mood for a hemoglobin semen coat.

by unDURYEAted October 10, 2018

Hemoglobin Lube

Using period blood as lube.

“I’ll fuck the shit outta that bloody cunt, I don’t give a fuck. Use some hemoglobin lube!” - Jayson

by BUTT0N July 14, 2019