Early Onset Functional Uselessness

When someone loses the ability to navigate new technology too early in their life.

He asked me how to turn on the Apple TV? He must have Early Onset Functional Uselessness, he’s only 37.

by t joey November 7, 2019

early birthday present

A present given prior to the actual birthday

Here is an early birthday present because I appreciate you

by Mikk15 December 8, 2019

Early Snake gets the Cake

Early Bird gets the worm. But I hate worms! Who the heck eats worms? Cake is much better. I prefer pizza but does not have the same ring to it. This is not to be confused with Shel Silverstein's "Cake Eating Snake" which contains no hyphen and from a grammatical perspective is unclear if the Cake eats Snakes or vice-versa.

This term was originally coined by Dylan Schwartz (CEO of Dylan Universe Comics, www.DylanUniverseComics.com) on January 3rd 2019.

Why you are up early? As they say," the early snake gets the cake."

by MadDawgDylan January 3, 2020

Early whipper

Commonly used for people that has a tendency to whip out their dick before reaching the toilet

My wife says I am a Early Whipper as she caught me with my dick out halfway to the bathroom

by Prof. Dhingum September 15, 2020

Early November Gift

A gift given by one friend to another in early November as a commemoration of their friendship.

Where is my Early November Gift? You are such a fake friend bro. No. Nuts do not fucking count as a gift. Oh? So only the mid october gift is real? Yeah, you would say that dude. Unbelievable.

by MommyLover69420 November 3, 2021

early treatment

the cure.

early treatment saved my life.

by Lil barnacles #1 fan November 29, 2021

Early Morning Cannonball

A massive shit that you take upon rising in the morning. Could happen after a night of drinking with the lads or some Mexican food from hell

Bloke 1: “I heard you banged Kate back at her crib last night”
Bloke 2: “Oh indeed, it’s a good thing I left before she saw what I did to her bathroom, left a nice early morning cannonball in there!”

by JordanBelfort350 October 1, 2022