Finnish bidet

A term coined by professional shit poster (and Youtuber) Jeff Holiday, a Finnish bidet is taking a shit in the middle of a blizzard, and letting your body heat melt the frost on your ass in order to wash yo ass (Tariq Nasheed style)

Bertha didn't wipe her ass after taking a shit in the her outhouse in the middle of a blizzard, she just Finnish Bidet'd it

by Wizard of Cummies December 20, 2017

Buddy bidet

When you take a dump and your friend pees down your asscrack to clean it

Hey I ran out of toilet paper, can you give me a buddy bidet

by Jor240 November 29, 2018

To bidet

A sexual act in which one person lies on the bed with a mouthful of water while the partner places their anus on top of the mouth. The partner on the bed then squirts water up at the anus, cleaning it and providing maximum pleasure

"my anus was pretty dirty the other day, so I got Stacy to bidet me, it was glorious"

by Peter bidet February 4, 2019

Canine bidet

When you smear peanut butter on your chocolate starfish after pinching a loaf to entice a dog to lick it off, thus cleaning your ass.

I usually prefer the canine bidet to a regular one, but I ran out of skippy.

by Milkbones August 22, 2019

bachelor bidet

When someone uses a shower as a bidet when there is no toilet paper available or someone is too lazy to buy toilet paper.

I ran out of toilet paper, so I jumped in the bachelor bidet to clean myself.

by Micro Mage March 13, 2020

Scotch Bidet

The art of washing ones rectum with the shower head after dropping the kids off at the pool.1

There was no toilet paper left in the shop so I've had to resort to using the Scotch Bidet

by Bigcid March 21, 2020

Reverse Bidet

The exact polar opposite of a bidet; instead of being sprayed with a stream of fresh water from your toilet, you spray your toilet with a high-pressure stream of hot diarrhea.

1. I painted my girlfriends toilet with a Reverse Bidet.

2. Never lift the seat after a Reverse Bidet.

by SpankyJones September 3, 2020